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LIE ... AS LIFE
Between a lie and the real truth ... we'll always prefer the lie.The human being is ... illogical.It always was .... and will always be.Allowing ... the nonsense to dominate all the time.Somehow ... is a paradox.But in the real life ... we paint so, so nicely the lies ... into an abstract way .... that we might even believe all is ... good.I've believed the same.... many, many times.Obviously ... ignoring or rejecting the real truth.And ... i try to understand myself.See ... the logic of my behaviour.Unfortunately ... all is a total nonsense.I just prefer ... the lies.Especially ... the ones said into a beautiful way.Between a lie ... and the real truth ... I'll always accept to live ... in illusion.But ... you know why?!Well ... most certainly ... the truth hurts too much.Yes ... life is not perfect.My life .... either.So ... i'll just continue living in illusion ... till all will be so obvious ... that i can't deny the truth.Most certainly .... it will be late.... much too late.I've became aware that my time is limited ... and one day ... my life will end ... and i'll prove that I've wasted all my existence ... but ....Maybe ... i am just a coward.... like many, many others.Probably ... same as you.Living ... in lies is a way of living.The way ... in how we waste our existences.... by thousands of years.Yes ... we don't care about truth.... about awakening.About learning ... the lessons beyond ... the nonsense.But ... this is the way we are.And we should just accept it.Maybe .... define what is going on.Also ... why?!Analyse deeply so that into the end we should just redefine our attitude in front of ... the lies.
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
Doing stupid things …. a nice way of getting out of the borders that define to us our … boring realityI hear many people … complaining they have … boring lives … and when i ask some of them what is going on … trying to teach them my technique of …. analyzing… defining …. as into the end to be able to totally redefine the reality itself …. i see a weird fear … that i could not understand for years.But later on …. I’ve realized it’s the fear of making mistakes … and all sorts of stupid things … not seeing that everything is just part of this scenario … called life … and has the meaning to reveal us … its secrets.
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
I wrote 10 books about love, but maybe someone should come to forbidden me … the right of speaking about the subject.Cause to be honest … i was writing so much about it … but … i don’t really know what love is.When i was personally involved … i was blind.I was not seeing clear absolutely anything at all.Most probably … being so, so … deep … in those stories … i did not had the ability to see everything detached and … it all became illusory for my mind.And i had so contradictory … perceptions.But one day … someone told me an interesting story … about how he got all what he wanted in his life … except love.This story made me decide to start writing a new book about the subject … but from a new perspective.This time i was the one that watch the play … like a spectator.I was looking at him.… but also at her.I was not interested to analyze more …. one of the sides … but only and only … the connection between those souls.My new friend started to tell me more and more about his life … and the paradox that even if he succeeded to get from life all he ever dreamed … he could not see any joy at all for himself.There was no reason for him to smile or …. to be happy.His face was always sending to everyone the impression of a profound … unhappiness.But one day … the guy … which by the way was a married person … met an amazing lady … and asked her to be his … love teacher.He could not say it from the beginning … but the next second he had this opportunity …. he found the guts to say it.And the funny thing was that she said … yes.She accepted the fact that he was married … cause there was no other chance to be together for the present moment.So … they started the lesson.Brian … this was his real name … was telling me new and new details.Many times i was simple smiling … not really knowing how to define the 2 of them, but later i realize that Carla was in the same position as him.She tried many times to find the happiness.The Universe sent in her life so, so many men … but all of those relationships looked like …. what we could name as …. pathless paths.This time … with this guy Brian …. all looked different.And he really wanted to understand what love is about.He came to me … confessing about his amazing story with Carla … and we were wondering … why the hell we had to learn so, so many things in school, but never about … love.His relationship with Carla became kind of a therapy.A weird one … but even if it was a slow process …. my friend Brian started to feel like a … different person.He was visiting her in her small studio, spending so, so many hours together … kissing her, discussing together … but also making love.She was teaching him … the tremendous power of touch … the meaning of feelings … and how love can heal our souls.Everyday … was a new lesson.She was his therapist … but liking her so, so much … and falling in love with her … he became her therapist also.In the night he was coming back at home …. and he was meditating more and more of what he was doing.Had no regret that he was cheating his wife, cause the connection itself was broken by a long, long time.And he loved this kind of … therapy.Everyday … he wanted to spend more and more time with her.Her energy … all that love felt while being into her arms … even if there were moments when they simple practiced the silence …. was making him feel cured.I was analyzing them … more and more …. until one day when i had the chance to meet her also.And i had the same feeling regarding Carla … that she was also having therapy with my friend Brian.… love therapy.Now … i was looking from outside at all this … and … i actually saw my stories.… all my love stories.I was analyzing and defining them … but i was trying to understand my stories and my way of acting from the past.It all became so damn clear now.Looking at Brian and Carla … i suddenly understood that all i was doing into my past …. In all the love stories … was to heal my soul.I needed … therapy also.But i was afraid of following a classic way …. at a regular therapist.All needed to be abstract … to hide the fact that i needed … to heal my broken soul.I smile realizing that all those partners … were my therapists ….Brian and Carla made me understand much clearer … my own story.And many others as them.Seeing detached … all those love stories …. defining them in my writings … little by little i started to understand what love is about … and its tremendous power.
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?! Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us.It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end … following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life.She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened.The theory was right … or at least one of it.I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote … but i would not like to read them again.Never …In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”… and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.Getting back into her arms … was useless.I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this ishow i saw both of them.I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.”Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.…. A huge one.So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady.I was meditating a lot.On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.I actually did not wanted to start a new relationship either …. with someone else … either with myself.I knew i needed something else into my life… but did not understood the new path i need to follow.And i continued … searching.On and on …. and on.One day … a year ago … while having a fire at one of my properties … a heart appeared on the roof of the building.Everyone saw the heart … except myself.Later on … i saw it in the pictures taken by the people that were there at the time.Again …. I thought that i should find a new mistress and have a parallel life again … without my wife to find out.But … i was wrong.So … damn wrong.Time passed and … and the russian-ukrainian war began … and i started to host lots of refugees.There were people that needed unconditional love and support … and i somehow connected to the all of them … realizing that i can be in a weird love story with all those women coming from Ukraine.They were ladies of different age and personality … but i loved having them into my life.I somehow started to understand that even if i thought that being in love can have only 2 options … loving a soulmate …. or yourself … i finally saw a totally new path …. and that was being in a lovely relationship … practicing another type of love …. with anyone was appearing in my reality.That of course … could not offend in any way my wife …. and also could not affect the marriage i had … but …Yes …. It was … an amazing trick … and i just loved it.I finally understood what Dalai Lama or Pope Francis were saying … about … unconditional love for all the people from this world.Reading their books … i even had moments when i thought the 2 of them were idiots …. but i was the idiot one.My marriage … was indeed karmic … having nothing to do with love … but my youngest son learnt me the meaning of … dharma.My mistress … which even if i loved so, so much … but don’t even want to hear her name again … taught me … what love … means.She was somehow a combination between karma and love … and saw her at the end of our love story more as a teacher …. than a soulmate.Most probably i have totally different values as those 2 shrews … my wife and my mistress … but i am happy i met the ucrainian ladies.The abstract love story i started with them …. all of them … no matter of age, personality, perspectives of life … was a much better path for continuing my life journey.I finally understood that if i would know to connect to the people that appear on the timeline of my life … and love them unconditionally…. somehow that love that i was chasing so, so much … since i was a kid … will come back to me in infinite quantities.I was looking for love … and i had to see the meaning of love story … from a totally different perspective.But … now everything was clear to me.I knew what i had to do … and which path to follow.My expectation was as my wife to love me …. but she was a karmic character that i could not replace … or my mistresses to love me unconditionally…. but she was the teacher that made me realize what the concept of love … means.My life journey … had to continue … and the ucrainian ladies showed me such a beautiful perspective … i never thought about.I was glad … of this awakening moment.So … loving you?! … loving me?! … or … simple loving any soul that appears in our lives?!Well … maybe from my position where i am now … being in a love story with everyone … is probably the best scenario i could live.Am glad i see things today … as that.Might be your perception … or not.Might sound as a total nonsense all what i am writing …. but maybe it will be much interesting to hear weird ideas … than the boring ones.So … let the journey begin … and we will see if i succeed to really connect to my real self … so … that i can find the inspiration to express myself clear enough … that in the end you will try at least one time … this kind of abstract love story … being in love with all the people from your life.
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
I’ve started to write about the desire of more …. realizing it’s a contagious disease … that society told me about … on and on and on … but defining it to me …. into an illusory way … as a great philosophy of life.I only had in mind … to present a new perception … about something which looks like a virtue … but it’s just a fear … and nothing more.… a very stupid one.… which unfortunately dominates … many people from our times.… including myself.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DEVIL REDEFINED MY LIFE
My relationship with the Devil redefined my lifeToday i believe that the meaning of life is to experience it ... and to understand from all those experiences what is all about.All it looks bad ... ugly ... related almost with the Devil ... are actually episodes that teach us powerful messages that we could simple define as ... lessons of life.But what if all those episodes keep appearing all the time ... on and on and on?!What if everything looks so damm negative in what we name life ... that you could almost say that Devil is always present on your timeline?!Is it anything we could do?!Is it enough to go to the church and blame the Devil?!But maybe the Devils are the people from your life ... the ones that you decided to spend your life with.... or even worst ... the Devil is ... YOU.You see ... going back in time, if we should analyze the concepts of the evil and also the one with the devil ... we should see that it’s all about abstract concepts ... and that the Devil itself is not a person, but the way we act in an evil way ... in certain moments of life.We just mix all those concepts and created the image of a powerful entity that we believe it can dominates us is a very, very ugly way ... but maybe is time to redefine that concept.We all know that we have a dark, but also a beautiful side ... and many times we know to control both sides ... but not always.We have a frequency that we use in life ... and that can be positive or negative ... without realizing that it is all a decision ... how we act in any of the episodes of life.The auto protective mode lets us believe that ... just for our protection we can act in any way we think at that moment ... but later on ... by analyzing and defining the past ... we realize we did not know how to act properly on the stage of our own lives.The yin and yang concept, which also is an abstract one ... is letting us know that negativity can be in harmony ... just near positivity.The meaning of our reactions, especially in ugly situations ... defines us ... what kind of humans we really are.Answering in a negative way ... to negative events ... looks almost natural ... but actually means not following the path of harmony ... which is the best path to follow.Is like a virus.We meet the Devil and we become ... devils.But again ... i mention that the weird concept about the Devil is so damm old, that we actually don’t understand that it is all about our decision of following bad intentions that we have in mind or in the soul.Abstract.Too abstract ... in fact.But the Devil ... or the negative energies that defines the energetic field where we live in ... will not disappear ... unless we understand the lesson of life ... the message behind the message.It could also be named ... the illusion, so well hidden under the illusion of the self.But we continue life for years ... following lots or pathless paths ... going to the left and to the right ... not having any direction at all ... and that is only cause we don’t understand the concept of ... the evil and its necessity for a while.... and seeing us so lost ... the Universe decides to smile again, by simple remembering us that same as we see a dark side, same we could see the positive side.And ... all is just a simple decision.Seeing in the Devil, which can be represented by the people we don’t like, or even by our worst enemies ... the teachers that let us know what are the real laws of the Universe ... should be a much better way of seeing life ... in a totally redefined way.The ugly experiences ... reveal that we should appreciate more ... all we have in life ... and enjoy all simple beautiful things from the scene of life.And the day when we accept and embrace all those elements generated by the evil ... it is actually the day when we will realize it is time for changing our focus and experience also to the beautiful side of life ... just to keep the right balance of yin and yang.The Devil does not exists ... or if it exists ... the Devil is you ... with your emotions and thoughts ... but you can redefine everything.... yes ... you have this right of redefining absolutely everything.That is the day when you understand that the Devil is your friend ... the one that totally redefined your life ... showing you as a very good teacher ... what life is about.You can embrace the Devil, which actually means to accept your dark side, as part of your experience of life ... cause all those episodes could guide you to the real path we should all follow ... the one of harmony.Yes ... laugh if you want ... but indeed the Devil is your friend ... but is actually the friend of your Ego, that one that keeps you hostage into the illusion of the self ... till one day when you discover that your soul ... has better friends ... and you could simple change the ... gang.Just think about it ... it’s all a simple theory ... but maybe you should meditate over it.
PARALLEL LIVES ... a way of enjoying our fantasies
“Parallel lives … a way of enjoying our fantasies” … might sound as a title of a book that reveals … immoral facts.But i haven’t defined … only that.I’ve dared to go deeper into a journey of analyzes … as a very simple … ordinary person … that dreams about lots of … fantasies.Love … fantasies.… spiritual.… sexual.… financial.But … all was about … an amazing reality that had nothing to do with my present moment.Cause … yes … maybe the first step is … to allow ourselves to dream … and have any kind of fantasy.… no matter what it is about.
SELF THERAPY
Self therapy is actually a practice used by thousands of years by the humans … to analyze, define and why not even redefine the inner souls … for simple becoming a better self … on the scene of life.Can be used by anyone … with only one condition …. to not lie yourself anymore … and become in the same time the therapist … but also the patient.It’s a non ending process … but i guarantee you … it worth to bother doing it. Realizing the connection with the self … it all becomes different and the answers to all our questions ….will come by themselves … helping us to see the real paths that we should follow in life.It’s quite simple.It works …And we should try it!
EXPLORING SOULS
I think during my lifetime … i’ve been annoyed one million times.I was annoyed of lots of people and the circumstances created by them … and many times … my reactions were really ugly.I’ve blamed everyone.On and on and on.And even if i knew that it was all a reflection … when it came about my own life … i was blind and could not accept such a theory.I was living 2 parallel lives … one where i was a theoretician that is analyzing and defining life …. and one living on the scene of my real life … where i was ignoring all i was doing in the first life.It was a total nonsense to have 2 lives in the same time … instead of mixing them .. and trying to create a hybrid version for my existence.There were moments when i was laughing of myself … of how silly i was … but …Well … i was blind.I count not connect the 2 realities.I could not be … just one.It was like i had … 2 souls inside of me … which was probably the most ridiculous idea i could come with.But …. time was passing … and i was starting to understand… what was wrong.I had indeed … 2 souls.One was the self … the real one, the one connected with the Universe … and the other one was …. my ego … my fake self … which looked all the time … so damn real.I continued my life … balancing.On and on …. and on.In fact i was not applying my spiritual knowledge to my own life … and i kept being annoyed.No matter how good the curent reality was … i always found a reason … not to be satisfied … or even continue being unhappy.It was like i was ignoring … even perfect case scenarios.Well … in both of my parallel lives … i was analyzing a lot …. all around myself … but as a thinker i was looking at everything with detachment … and on the scene of reality … i was treating everything … as real.There was no … detachment.I had to mix my 2 personalities … and become just one.It was ok that i was analyzing everything and everyone … but i had to stop judging and most important to ignore … or at least to pretend i don’t see the dark side of all was going on.I had to stop being annoyed.I had this freedom of exploring souls … but i had to learn to practice … the acceptance.Being annoyed … was so, so stupid of me … cause i was annoyed of … my own reflection.… of what i disliked on myself.Exploring deeply the world and all the souls i was seeing on the scene of reality … was ok.But … the wisest thing i could do … was to let my 2 parallel lives to interfere.Apply the spiritual principles into the real life.Forget about the illusion … of myself.
PRETENDING
All my writings are kind of a … self therapyAnd i was writing on and on and on …. defining my feelings and thoughts … But it was a little bit funny realizing the contradiction between what i thought, what i felt deep inside of my soul … and how i was acting on the stage of life.… analyzing and defining myself … the one that i thought i was … deep into my soul … and the one from the outside world … i was realizing it’s such a huge difference.And still … i was trying to be better … but all i was doing was … pretending … on and on and on.But why?!Why … this huge different between my inner self and the one from the stage of life?!I knew the theory … and knew all i had to do … and i was really pretending … i was doing the right thing, but … Well …. most probably my real problem … which was a huge one …. was probably that i was disconnected from my inner self.I knew about that self.I knew it exists … and i had to be one with it … and even if i was pretending i was doing the right thing … it was all a lie.I was lying myself … pretending … on and on and on …Why?!Why?!Why?!Until one day … when i decided that i need to stop doing that … and practicing the process of self therapy … i started to be more honest in front of myself.Cause … I was simple … wasting my life … pretending … and i really had to redefine myself.
Sad ... or unhappy?!
Beautiful soul.Sad face.Unhappy human.I look at them.But all look unhappy to me.And i start to wonder what is going on.Also ... what is really the difference between sadness and unhappiness.Unfortunately ... i can't clearly understand.Not yet.I believe i know it ... but it is not true.My mind is full with illusory thoughts.Then i see her.I look at her amazing charm.And i penetrate ... her beautiful soul.... wondering as an idiot why such a sad face ... and unhappy human being.Cause ... all is illogical.Unfortunately ... this is life.For ugly souls... but also for beautiful ones.
THE DIRTY MIND
Expressing all our ideas … or thoughts is most probably …a must.Accepting that into one point we’ll be shocked discovering our dirty minds … it’s also a must.But i believe it’s all part of understanding us as humans.Concepts us spiritual ugliness … sins … and many other similar ideas must be avoid for a while … if we really want to heal our broken souls.We should not be surprised …. or socked and not try to avoid … the truth.We should simple allow our personality to be expressed the way it wants to be expressed.… and stop judging ourselves.Yes … we should allow ourselves to be wild … allow all our thoughts to be expressed in any way they need to be expressed … but also do your best to practice the acceptance …