Tags:essays
The princess syndrome
The contemporary woman ... no matter who she really is ... has a tremendous need of being treated as a princess.Understanding this fact ... is probably one of the most important rules into a relationship.I mean ... understanding and accepting it.On the other hand .... not realising this need ... is almost ... a catastrophe.The same person we loved ... and loved us so much ... into one point simple start to act with us ... horrible... being a bitch.And ... believing there is absolutely no explanation ... for such a change of behaviour ... we continue life together ... having a miserable existence ... but living with the illusory hope that all will be fine.Unfortunately ... the change never happens.All ... remains the same ... even if the beginning was ... maybe ... so, so beautiful.Yes ... a nonsense.Many men believe the same.Of course ... me too.The question is why the woman metamorphose herself into ... a bitch having the only purpose to make our experiences miserable?!Should we accept it?!I mean ... accept it as normality?!Or ... readapt?!Well .... as far as i've saw till now .... men simple replace the woman with another woman.... hoping into a better life ... but ... the real truth is that after a while all becomes the same.And ... again ... pretending we are idiots ... we ask the same question ... why?! Why?! Why?!So ... maybe ... the men ... do something wrong?!Most certainly ... yes.I would dare to say ... that we treat the woman so nice into the begging ... really making her believe she is a princess.But ... later on we change ... the attitude.The woman feels fooled ... betrayed.Being a bitch becomes ... just a reaction.... maybe a normal one.I would love to explore with all of you this need of the contemporary women.In fact ... this trend of being and feeling ... like a princess.Having in mind just one idea ... to enlighten all the men from this world ... of why relationships stop being what they used to be.
What do you want?!
We always want something.We always want ... what we don't have ... or maybe can't have.Or ... what can't belong to us.Saying "I want" ... is a lot related with the world of desires ... but carries lots of influences ... which we don't really know they exist.Rarely ... i dare to ask ... seeing myself doing lots of stupid things ... "What do i want?! What do i really want?!"And ... honestly speaking .... I can't really find a logical explanation ... in many of those occasions.I had times ... when I've promised myself that i will wake up ... and looking into the mirror ... seeing again that unhappy ugly face ... i will repeatedly ask myself ... again and again ... "What do i want?! What do i want?! What do i want?!".Today ... i trend to believe that this is the best question we can ask while realising it is time to understand us deeper.It is a very powerful question.I hated it ... for years .... believing i know what i want to say.And ... it was like that cause i always got what i wanted ... but ... i was never happy.I mean ... really happy.The expression of my face ... while looking into the mirror ... forced me repeat myself this question.On ... and on ... and on.Strongly ... believing that one day ... the answers will be revealed to me.I mean ... the real answers.Unfortunately .... I still had to continue my meditations ...Cause the answers ... were not satisfying me ...
DIRTY ENERGIES … SEEN AS REFLECTIONS
Defining the connection … that sometimes looked like illusory … i’ve realised it all became a concert … of complains.I’ve wrote a lot about … defining … and its importance so that we could have a beautiful existence.In fact i do believe … and that’s my main message that analysing and defining with honesty all we like and dislike … we could reach a point when we could actually redefine our lives … into a better way.And this theory could be available into any of the areas of our lives.In our careers, with our friends … and even into a love story.The only real problem is that in koi to one point …. defining and defining and defining too much … we come into a point when we actually look like people … which are non stop complaining.Yes … somehow all looks a lot with a … concert of complains.And we actually …. ruin all.One of the 2 partners will simple say … “I had enough … “.Today … i smile cause i’ve been into this position … on both sides … in many of the relationships i’ve been involved in.In business… in love … and any other area.So … all becoming ridiculous… we come now into the position of asking … what the hell we do … to be able to improve the connection without destroying it?!When is the best moment when we need to stop doing that?!Why we try to define on and on and on things which cannot be improved?!Can we actually accept that the relationship has its own limits?!Can we avoid being ridiculous… clearly being defined of our partners into that way?!Can we improve a relationship without a deep analysis and define with honesty all?!In fact my list of questions is even much, much longer … but into the end we need to somehow conclude … so …Most probably … all we define is about the dirty energies which we discover while interacting …. but we are never aware of the fact that all is maybe …. a reflection.Yes … a reflection.One that becomes clear while in deep connections… but we are not able to become aware of the fact that all we don’t like into the relationship… are parts of us that needs to be redefined.We should firstly analyse and define ourselves… and keep in mind that into a mirror we won’t be able to change the reflection…. unless we change.And …. It’s so damn simple …But .. what is funny …. is that even if we understand the theoretical concepts… on the stage of reality … we forget about all.So … we just complain.We don’t like that … or that …. or that etc etc…All looks indeed like a pathetic concert of illusory complains … which into the end simple ruins … the relationship itself.On and on …. and on.
Mr & Mrs FREUD
I've wrote many books about love ... being in love, but also hating the concept of love ... and even promised myself that i'll never do that again ... but ...Well ... into one point ... after publishing 20 books of love essays ... i've had a very serious discussion with myself and ...Yes ... i've said it again that i'll not write again about love ....But ... damn it ... i just loved the concept.I loved all related to .... love.And even if i knew that a love story is many times ... illusory ... and might ruin completely our souls ... destroying them forever ... I've continued to write my perceptions about the subject.The funny thing is that ... promising myself i'll never be again into a love story ... i've started to analyse the couples i saw on the stage of my life.And what was intriguing me the most was why a man and a woman ... even when the love between them is so damn obvious... still do stupid things ... which are actually ruining all?!Why if both of them are in love of each other .... what the hell could be the meaning of the non sense psychological games we are doing?!And even worst ... why do we see very intelligent people ... playing so, so stupid on that stage of a love story?Why do they need to do stupid things?!Why they jump from love to hate so easily?!Also ... why the hell ... even the ones knowing a lot about psychology ... don't do the right things?!And had many occasions to see people which I'll generally define as Mr and Mrs Freud ... practicing the nonsense into a love story .... on and on and on.The final question remains ... why?!I could not find a real answer... but i've dared to continue analysing and defining into my writings .... the subject.Into the end ... maybe i could declare that i don't really have a conclusion .... but i love to talk about love.The subject itself ... is intriguing my soul.So .... I went deeper and deeper into my essays... being obsessed of a hope similar with the one of ... touching the horizon line.It's maybe ... ridiculous ... but .. i give myself the freedom to suffer of this addiction.
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
The real change will come only when you will accept it inside your soul ... There are so many books about change or success, that you will not have enough time to read them during this life time.Sometimes looking for a huge success that could complete our lives ... the change is just part of the script.And success indeed can’t come without the change.But what is the change?!Can you do it by yourself, or you just need special help from different people?!Or maybe the real change can come only from inside of us ... and the only real help as it to happen is to accept it ... not only want it.Accept it ... as part of your life.Imagine that many years ago ... you had been poor, but you dreamed to be rich.And one day you become rich.But the funny question is ... do you accept the fact that you became rich?!There are so many people that they were poor and then they became millionaires ... but soon after they lost everything again.So ... they re became poor again.They did not accepted the change.Could not integrate it in their life.When change comes in small steps ... is much easier to accept it as part of our new life.When change comes suddenly ... we need to change our thinking right away ... and dare to see the whole scene of life in different colors.On the paths trough life ... we get lost.We lose all our dreams, one by another ... and we also lose ourselves also.One day ... the idea of change looks illusory and we wonder why we can’t understand the fact that we are never happy anymore.For a beautiful life, no matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50 or even 60 or 70 ... you just need a plan ... the plan for the change.But the change needs to be a positive one ... and not a collection of silly desires.And if your life is miserable today ... small changes will make almost no difference at all.The change needs to be a process of ... dreaming big no matter what happens in your actual life.But you need to visualize and accept the future ... cause the real change means the break up from your past.You will lose yourself into this process and become a new you ... but if you really want a new you ... you will accept it.
LIE ... AS LIFE
Between a lie and the real truth ... we'll always prefer the lie.The human being is ... illogical.It always was .... and will always be.Allowing ... the nonsense to dominate all the time.Somehow ... is a paradox.But in the real life ... we paint so, so nicely the lies ... into an abstract way .... that we might even believe all is ... good.I've believed the same.... many, many times.Obviously ... ignoring or rejecting the real truth.And ... i try to understand myself.See ... the logic of my behaviour.Unfortunately ... all is a total nonsense.I just prefer ... the lies.Especially ... the ones said into a beautiful way.Between a lie ... and the real truth ... I'll always accept to live ... in illusion.But ... you know why?!Well ... most certainly ... the truth hurts too much.Yes ... life is not perfect.My life .... either.So ... i'll just continue living in illusion ... till all will be so obvious ... that i can't deny the truth.Most certainly .... it will be late.... much too late.I've became aware that my time is limited ... and one day ... my life will end ... and i'll prove that I've wasted all my existence ... but ....Maybe ... i am just a coward.... like many, many others.Probably ... same as you.Living ... in lies is a way of living.The way ... in how we waste our existences.... by thousands of years.Yes ... we don't care about truth.... about awakening.About learning ... the lessons beyond ... the nonsense.But ... this is the way we are.And we should just accept it.Maybe .... define what is going on.Also ... why?!Analyse deeply so that into the end we should just redefine our attitude in front of ... the lies.
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
Doing stupid things …. a nice way of getting out of the borders that define to us our … boring realityI hear many people … complaining they have … boring lives … and when i ask some of them what is going on … trying to teach them my technique of …. analyzing… defining …. as into the end to be able to totally redefine the reality itself …. i see a weird fear … that i could not understand for years.But later on …. I’ve realized it’s the fear of making mistakes … and all sorts of stupid things … not seeing that everything is just part of this scenario … called life … and has the meaning to reveal us … its secrets.
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
I wrote 10 books about love, but maybe someone should come to forbidden me … the right of speaking about the subject.Cause to be honest … i was writing so much about it … but … i don’t really know what love is.When i was personally involved … i was blind.I was not seeing clear absolutely anything at all.Most probably … being so, so … deep … in those stories … i did not had the ability to see everything detached and … it all became illusory for my mind.And i had so contradictory … perceptions.But one day … someone told me an interesting story … about how he got all what he wanted in his life … except love.This story made me decide to start writing a new book about the subject … but from a new perspective.This time i was the one that watch the play … like a spectator.I was looking at him.… but also at her.I was not interested to analyze more …. one of the sides … but only and only … the connection between those souls.My new friend started to tell me more and more about his life … and the paradox that even if he succeeded to get from life all he ever dreamed … he could not see any joy at all for himself.There was no reason for him to smile or …. to be happy.His face was always sending to everyone the impression of a profound … unhappiness.But one day … the guy … which by the way was a married person … met an amazing lady … and asked her to be his … love teacher.He could not say it from the beginning … but the next second he had this opportunity …. he found the guts to say it.And the funny thing was that she said … yes.She accepted the fact that he was married … cause there was no other chance to be together for the present moment.So … they started the lesson.Brian … this was his real name … was telling me new and new details.Many times i was simple smiling … not really knowing how to define the 2 of them, but later i realize that Carla was in the same position as him.She tried many times to find the happiness.The Universe sent in her life so, so many men … but all of those relationships looked like …. what we could name as …. pathless paths.This time … with this guy Brian …. all looked different.And he really wanted to understand what love is about.He came to me … confessing about his amazing story with Carla … and we were wondering … why the hell we had to learn so, so many things in school, but never about … love.His relationship with Carla became kind of a therapy.A weird one … but even if it was a slow process …. my friend Brian started to feel like a … different person.He was visiting her in her small studio, spending so, so many hours together … kissing her, discussing together … but also making love.She was teaching him … the tremendous power of touch … the meaning of feelings … and how love can heal our souls.Everyday … was a new lesson.She was his therapist … but liking her so, so much … and falling in love with her … he became her therapist also.In the night he was coming back at home …. and he was meditating more and more of what he was doing.Had no regret that he was cheating his wife, cause the connection itself was broken by a long, long time.And he loved this kind of … therapy.Everyday … he wanted to spend more and more time with her.Her energy … all that love felt while being into her arms … even if there were moments when they simple practiced the silence …. was making him feel cured.I was analyzing them … more and more …. until one day when i had the chance to meet her also.And i had the same feeling regarding Carla … that she was also having therapy with my friend Brian.… love therapy.Now … i was looking from outside at all this … and … i actually saw my stories.… all my love stories.I was analyzing and defining them … but i was trying to understand my stories and my way of acting from the past.It all became so damn clear now.Looking at Brian and Carla … i suddenly understood that all i was doing into my past …. In all the love stories … was to heal my soul.I needed … therapy also.But i was afraid of following a classic way …. at a regular therapist.All needed to be abstract … to hide the fact that i needed … to heal my broken soul.I smile realizing that all those partners … were my therapists ….Brian and Carla made me understand much clearer … my own story.And many others as them.Seeing detached … all those love stories …. defining them in my writings … little by little i started to understand what love is about … and its tremendous power.
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?! Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us.It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end … following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life.She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened.The theory was right … or at least one of it.I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote … but i would not like to read them again.Never …In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”… and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.Getting back into her arms … was useless.I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this ishow i saw both of them.I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.”Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.…. A huge one.So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady.I was meditating a lot.On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.I actually did not wanted to start a new relationship either …. with someone else … either with myself.I knew i needed something else into my life… but did not understood the new path i need to follow.And i continued … searching.On and on …. and on.One day … a year ago … while having a fire at one of my properties … a heart appeared on the roof of the building.Everyone saw the heart … except myself.Later on … i saw it in the pictures taken by the people that were there at the time.Again …. I thought that i should find a new mistress and have a parallel life again … without my wife to find out.But … i was wrong.So … damn wrong.Time passed and … and the russian-ukrainian war began … and i started to host lots of refugees.There were people that needed unconditional love and support … and i somehow connected to the all of them … realizing that i can be in a weird love story with all those women coming from Ukraine.They were ladies of different age and personality … but i loved having them into my life.I somehow started to understand that even if i thought that being in love can have only 2 options … loving a soulmate …. or yourself … i finally saw a totally new path …. and that was being in a lovely relationship … practicing another type of love …. with anyone was appearing in my reality.That of course … could not offend in any way my wife …. and also could not affect the marriage i had … but …Yes …. It was … an amazing trick … and i just loved it.I finally understood what Dalai Lama or Pope Francis were saying … about … unconditional love for all the people from this world.Reading their books … i even had moments when i thought the 2 of them were idiots …. but i was the idiot one.My marriage … was indeed karmic … having nothing to do with love … but my youngest son learnt me the meaning of … dharma.My mistress … which even if i loved so, so much … but don’t even want to hear her name again … taught me … what love … means.She was somehow a combination between karma and love … and saw her at the end of our love story more as a teacher …. than a soulmate.Most probably i have totally different values as those 2 shrews … my wife and my mistress … but i am happy i met the ucrainian ladies.The abstract love story i started with them …. all of them … no matter of age, personality, perspectives of life … was a much better path for continuing my life journey.I finally understood that if i would know to connect to the people that appear on the timeline of my life … and love them unconditionally…. somehow that love that i was chasing so, so much … since i was a kid … will come back to me in infinite quantities.I was looking for love … and i had to see the meaning of love story … from a totally different perspective.But … now everything was clear to me.I knew what i had to do … and which path to follow.My expectation was as my wife to love me …. but she was a karmic character that i could not replace … or my mistresses to love me unconditionally…. but she was the teacher that made me realize what the concept of love … means.My life journey … had to continue … and the ucrainian ladies showed me such a beautiful perspective … i never thought about.I was glad … of this awakening moment.So … loving you?! … loving me?! … or … simple loving any soul that appears in our lives?!Well … maybe from my position where i am now … being in a love story with everyone … is probably the best scenario i could live.Am glad i see things today … as that.Might be your perception … or not.Might sound as a total nonsense all what i am writing …. but maybe it will be much interesting to hear weird ideas … than the boring ones.So … let the journey begin … and we will see if i succeed to really connect to my real self … so … that i can find the inspiration to express myself clear enough … that in the end you will try at least one time … this kind of abstract love story … being in love with all the people from your life.
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
I’ve started to write about the desire of more …. realizing it’s a contagious disease … that society told me about … on and on and on … but defining it to me …. into an illusory way … as a great philosophy of life.I only had in mind … to present a new perception … about something which looks like a virtue … but it’s just a fear … and nothing more.… a very stupid one.… which unfortunately dominates … many people from our times.… including myself.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DEVIL REDEFINED MY LIFE
My relationship with the Devil redefined my lifeToday i believe that the meaning of life is to experience it ... and to understand from all those experiences what is all about.All it looks bad ... ugly ... related almost with the Devil ... are actually episodes that teach us powerful messages that we could simple define as ... lessons of life.But what if all those episodes keep appearing all the time ... on and on and on?!What if everything looks so damm negative in what we name life ... that you could almost say that Devil is always present on your timeline?!Is it anything we could do?!Is it enough to go to the church and blame the Devil?!But maybe the Devils are the people from your life ... the ones that you decided to spend your life with.... or even worst ... the Devil is ... YOU.You see ... going back in time, if we should analyze the concepts of the evil and also the one with the devil ... we should see that it’s all about abstract concepts ... and that the Devil itself is not a person, but the way we act in an evil way ... in certain moments of life.We just mix all those concepts and created the image of a powerful entity that we believe it can dominates us is a very, very ugly way ... but maybe is time to redefine that concept.We all know that we have a dark, but also a beautiful side ... and many times we know to control both sides ... but not always.We have a frequency that we use in life ... and that can be positive or negative ... without realizing that it is all a decision ... how we act in any of the episodes of life.The auto protective mode lets us believe that ... just for our protection we can act in any way we think at that moment ... but later on ... by analyzing and defining the past ... we realize we did not know how to act properly on the stage of our own lives.The yin and yang concept, which also is an abstract one ... is letting us know that negativity can be in harmony ... just near positivity.The meaning of our reactions, especially in ugly situations ... defines us ... what kind of humans we really are.Answering in a negative way ... to negative events ... looks almost natural ... but actually means not following the path of harmony ... which is the best path to follow.Is like a virus.We meet the Devil and we become ... devils.But again ... i mention that the weird concept about the Devil is so damm old, that we actually don’t understand that it is all about our decision of following bad intentions that we have in mind or in the soul.Abstract.Too abstract ... in fact.But the Devil ... or the negative energies that defines the energetic field where we live in ... will not disappear ... unless we understand the lesson of life ... the message behind the message.It could also be named ... the illusion, so well hidden under the illusion of the self.But we continue life for years ... following lots or pathless paths ... going to the left and to the right ... not having any direction at all ... and that is only cause we don’t understand the concept of ... the evil and its necessity for a while.... and seeing us so lost ... the Universe decides to smile again, by simple remembering us that same as we see a dark side, same we could see the positive side.And ... all is just a simple decision.Seeing in the Devil, which can be represented by the people we don’t like, or even by our worst enemies ... the teachers that let us know what are the real laws of the Universe ... should be a much better way of seeing life ... in a totally redefined way.The ugly experiences ... reveal that we should appreciate more ... all we have in life ... and enjoy all simple beautiful things from the scene of life.And the day when we accept and embrace all those elements generated by the evil ... it is actually the day when we will realize it is time for changing our focus and experience also to the beautiful side of life ... just to keep the right balance of yin and yang.The Devil does not exists ... or if it exists ... the Devil is you ... with your emotions and thoughts ... but you can redefine everything.... yes ... you have this right of redefining absolutely everything.That is the day when you understand that the Devil is your friend ... the one that totally redefined your life ... showing you as a very good teacher ... what life is about.You can embrace the Devil, which actually means to accept your dark side, as part of your experience of life ... cause all those episodes could guide you to the real path we should all follow ... the one of harmony.Yes ... laugh if you want ... but indeed the Devil is your friend ... but is actually the friend of your Ego, that one that keeps you hostage into the illusion of the self ... till one day when you discover that your soul ... has better friends ... and you could simple change the ... gang.Just think about it ... it’s all a simple theory ... but maybe you should meditate over it.
PARALLEL LIVES ... a way of enjoying our fantasies
“Parallel lives … a way of enjoying our fantasies” … might sound as a title of a book that reveals … immoral facts.But i haven’t defined … only that.I’ve dared to go deeper into a journey of analyzes … as a very simple … ordinary person … that dreams about lots of … fantasies.Love … fantasies.… spiritual.… sexual.… financial.But … all was about … an amazing reality that had nothing to do with my present moment.Cause … yes … maybe the first step is … to allow ourselves to dream … and have any kind of fantasy.… no matter what it is about.