PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
authors: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru | ISBN: | publish : | page count:101
Tags: Philosophy Essays
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THE REFUGEES … A STORY ABOUT CHANGE
If there is something i love the most in this life …. I believe it is … socializing with the people i meet on the timeline of my life.And i smile …. seeing what might even look as a total nonsense ….cause i met such a large spectrum of totally different souls.Quite soon after the war from Ukraine started …. me and my family hosted people coming from there to my country.I had the chance to meet in this way … lots of lost souls …. going to an unclear direction … having no idea about what will happen tomorrow.They were on the path of a forced change …. and it was no chance as things to become better quite soon.… or at least not in the near future.Being retired …. not having what to do anyway … spent all my time in their company.I just loved their presence.Some … connected with me from the first second …. but i also met some that found too weird that i was helping them and did not wanted to be so friendly from the beginning.In the end …. I became the friend of all of them.It was probably the first time in my life when i was investing all my time and energy trying to help the others …. and forget about my own interests.And that was something … new for me.It looked like … i was following a new path for my life … and i liked it.One of the ladies …. told me one day …. “Becoming a refugee is about change … and mainly changing our values in life.Not so long time ago … i cared a lot about what new jacket or shoes i will buy … but now after losing all the 3 houses we owned in Mariupol … and almost all my clothes and shoes … i simple smile.Today i wear clothes from the centers created for helping the refugees … but i am happy that me and my family … are alive … and together.I don’t know if i really became a better soul … but I totally changed my values of life.”For that lady …. being a refugees was a totally new experience … same as for myself helping the others was a totally new way of spending my life.Without realizing …. I started little by little to change my values …. and my life.2 years ago if someone would tell me that i will spend my time like that … i would laugh saying that is a horrible joke … but today … i just love my new friends … the ukrainian refugees.And i love them mostly… cause in their companion i succeeded to show to the world the beautiful side of myself.And it was … so damn easy … and i wonder why i haven’t done that long time ago.Today i could have been a totally different person …. one with beautiful values … as human being.But you see … it’s never too late.So … the russian-ukrainian war was a great opportunity … for myself.Sounds weird … but it really was the right time for me and maybe many others to see life from a totally different perspective.And once the process of change started i just hoped that everything will continue for the inner self in the same style.
The weird hobby of being a lost soul … an amazing journey on beautiful pathless paths
Experiencing a path that takes us to nowhere … it’s not useless.We should understand and accept that not the destination is important … cause life has no real destination.…but what it is really important is maybe the experience itself.Good … bad … however it is … it all has the meaning to reveal to us the dance of energies beyond the scene of reality… making us aware that all is … energy.Into the end … maybe there is only one conclusion … but i hate saying it.Well … we could chose to connect just on the beautiful vibrations of life … and totally ignore negativity.But … we can’t.I … can’t …Maybe … i’ll never be able to do it.So … life continues …. revealing new and new experiences… and i still don’t really understand the energies ……. the amazing dance of energies.Looking … like a cocktail of …. elements … which induces us the illusion of the abstract.I smile … and i stop being annoyed.I allow to life to continue … and i finally accept that in fact … life would continue anyway … with or without my approval.And … all i have to do is just to experience it … with or without joy … even if i know that the only purpose is to evolve spiritually.So ….
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
I wrote 10 books about love, but maybe someone should come to forbidden me … the right of speaking about the subject.Cause to be honest … i was writing so much about it … but … i don’t really know what love is.When i was personally involved … i was blind.I was not seeing clear absolutely anything at all.Most probably … being so, so … deep … in those stories … i did not had the ability to see everything detached and … it all became illusory for my mind.And i had so contradictory … perceptions.But one day … someone told me an interesting story … about how he got all what he wanted in his life … except love.This story made me decide to start writing a new book about the subject … but from a new perspective.This time i was the one that watch the play … like a spectator.I was looking at him.… but also at her.I was not interested to analyze more …. one of the sides … but only and only … the connection between those souls.My new friend started to tell me more and more about his life … and the paradox that even if he succeeded to get from life all he ever dreamed … he could not see any joy at all for himself.There was no reason for him to smile or …. to be happy.His face was always sending to everyone the impression of a profound … unhappiness.But one day … the guy … which by the way was a married person … met an amazing lady … and asked her to be his … love teacher.He could not say it from the beginning … but the next second he had this opportunity …. he found the guts to say it.And the funny thing was that she said … yes.She accepted the fact that he was married … cause there was no other chance to be together for the present moment.So … they started the lesson.Brian … this was his real name … was telling me new and new details.Many times i was simple smiling … not really knowing how to define the 2 of them, but later i realize that Carla was in the same position as him.She tried many times to find the happiness.The Universe sent in her life so, so many men … but all of those relationships looked like …. what we could name as …. pathless paths.This time … with this guy Brian …. all looked different.And he really wanted to understand what love is about.He came to me … confessing about his amazing story with Carla … and we were wondering … why the hell we had to learn so, so many things in school, but never about … love.His relationship with Carla became kind of a therapy.A weird one … but even if it was a slow process …. my friend Brian started to feel like a … different person.He was visiting her in her small studio, spending so, so many hours together … kissing her, discussing together … but also making love.She was teaching him … the tremendous power of touch … the meaning of feelings … and how love can heal our souls.Everyday … was a new lesson.She was his therapist … but liking her so, so much … and falling in love with her … he became her therapist also.In the night he was coming back at home …. and he was meditating more and more of what he was doing.Had no regret that he was cheating his wife, cause the connection itself was broken by a long, long time.And he loved this kind of … therapy.Everyday … he wanted to spend more and more time with her.Her energy … all that love felt while being into her arms … even if there were moments when they simple practiced the silence …. was making him feel cured.I was analyzing them … more and more …. until one day when i had the chance to meet her also.And i had the same feeling regarding Carla … that she was also having therapy with my friend Brian.… love therapy.Now … i was looking from outside at all this … and … i actually saw my stories.… all my love stories.I was analyzing and defining them … but i was trying to understand my stories and my way of acting from the past.It all became so damn clear now.Looking at Brian and Carla … i suddenly understood that all i was doing into my past …. In all the love stories … was to heal my soul.I needed … therapy also.But i was afraid of following a classic way …. at a regular therapist.All needed to be abstract … to hide the fact that i needed … to heal my broken soul.I smile realizing that all those partners … were my therapists ….Brian and Carla made me understand much clearer … my own story.And many others as them.Seeing detached … all those love stories …. defining them in my writings … little by little i started to understand what love is about … and its tremendous power.
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?! Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us.It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end … following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life.She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened.The theory was right … or at least one of it.I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote … but i would not like to read them again.Never …In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”… and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.Getting back into her arms … was useless.I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this ishow i saw both of them.I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.”Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.…. A huge one.So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady.I was meditating a lot.On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.I actually did not wanted to start a new relationship either …. with someone else … either with myself.I knew i needed something else into my life… but did not understood the new path i need to follow.And i continued … searching.On and on …. and on.One day … a year ago … while having a fire at one of my properties … a heart appeared on the roof of the building.Everyone saw the heart … except myself.Later on … i saw it in the pictures taken by the people that were there at the time.Again …. I thought that i should find a new mistress and have a parallel life again … without my wife to find out.But … i was wrong.So … damn wrong.Time passed and … and the russian-ukrainian war began … and i started to host lots of refugees.There were people that needed unconditional love and support … and i somehow connected to the all of them … realizing that i can be in a weird love story with all those women coming from Ukraine.They were ladies of different age and personality … but i loved having them into my life.I somehow started to understand that even if i thought that being in love can have only 2 options … loving a soulmate …. or yourself … i finally saw a totally new path …. and that was being in a lovely relationship … practicing another type of love …. with anyone was appearing in my reality.That of course … could not offend in any way my wife …. and also could not affect the marriage i had … but …Yes …. It was … an amazing trick … and i just loved it.I finally understood what Dalai Lama or Pope Francis were saying … about … unconditional love for all the people from this world.Reading their books … i even had moments when i thought the 2 of them were idiots …. but i was the idiot one.My marriage … was indeed karmic … having nothing to do with love … but my youngest son learnt me the meaning of … dharma.My mistress … which even if i loved so, so much … but don’t even want to hear her name again … taught me … what love … means.She was somehow a combination between karma and love … and saw her at the end of our love story more as a teacher …. than a soulmate.Most probably i have totally different values as those 2 shrews … my wife and my mistress … but i am happy i met the ucrainian ladies.The abstract love story i started with them …. all of them … no matter of age, personality, perspectives of life … was a much better path for continuing my life journey.I finally understood that if i would know to connect to the people that appear on the timeline of my life … and love them unconditionally…. somehow that love that i was chasing so, so much … since i was a kid … will come back to me in infinite quantities.I was looking for love … and i had to see the meaning of love story … from a totally different perspective.But … now everything was clear to me.I knew what i had to do … and which path to follow.My expectation was as my wife to love me …. but she was a karmic character that i could not replace … or my mistresses to love me unconditionally…. but she was the teacher that made me realize what the concept of love … means.My life journey … had to continue … and the ucrainian ladies showed me such a beautiful perspective … i never thought about.I was glad … of this awakening moment.So … loving you?! … loving me?! … or … simple loving any soul that appears in our lives?!Well … maybe from my position where i am now … being in a love story with everyone … is probably the best scenario i could live.Am glad i see things today … as that.Might be your perception … or not.Might sound as a total nonsense all what i am writing …. but maybe it will be much interesting to hear weird ideas … than the boring ones.So … let the journey begin … and we will see if i succeed to really connect to my real self … so … that i can find the inspiration to express myself clear enough … that in the end you will try at least one time … this kind of abstract love story … being in love with all the people from your life.
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
I’ve started to write about the desire of more …. realizing it’s a contagious disease … that society told me about … on and on and on … but defining it to me …. into an illusory way … as a great philosophy of life.I only had in mind … to present a new perception … about something which looks like a virtue … but it’s just a fear … and nothing more.… a very stupid one.… which unfortunately dominates … many people from our times.… including myself.
Boringness pushed me to live in lies
When i was a child, being alone the most part of the day ... i felt life is boring.So ... i've chased for something to improve things, but i had no idea what i am looking for.Later on ... I've defined this period of my life as the beginning of starting to practice the art of doing stupid things.And ... no matter how young i was, i was aware of all what i was doing.Fortunately or unfortunately ... between a boring existence and a crazy one ... I preferred to feel alive.I simple hate to feel ... bored.Be a zombie.Today ... being into my middle age era ... i realised that somehow i've ruined my life with all the nonsenses which i've done, but i have no regrets.I could even admit that boringness pushed me to live in lies ... but all is ok.And ... i smile.Treating all ... as normality, being a clear evidence that i am still dominated by duality.Which ... translated ... means still being into my nonsense era.But ... I guess ... this is the journey of life.
VARIETY … seen as a therapy
I try to understand the human being, analysing all the souls around myself.Obsessively.Analysing and defining especially the weirdness i see in life.And ... certainly i look weird.Speaking about lots of things which defines the nonsense behind the human behaviour.Even if it is about immorality.Ignoring boundaries.And any type of limit which i should not pass as a writer.Not carrying of anything.Obsessively wanting to understand the dynamic of our behaviour.So ... i continue this philosophical and spiritual journey, but all being in fact a reflection of the need of doing something to heal my own soul.Pretending i write about the weirdness seen at the others, but being ashamed of what i feel deep inside myself.That's why i always write about a variety of subjects, analysing in fact variety ... even if it is so, so related to the nonsense.Into the end ... i dare to ask myself why do i need variety?!Is it a therapy?!The need itself creates me a lots of problems, being related many times with illegal things, immortality ... but also stupidity.Proving i am an idiot.A big one.But ... of course ... it is easier to analyse the cases of others.Much easier.Forgetting about my need of variety ... even if many times, unconsciously, i try to stop myself to chase for so many things in life.To accept also boringness.Because variety itself ... at least according to the statistics of my own existence ... never brought me anything good.Being ... an illusory therapy.So ... i guess ... i simple try to analyse such cases, trying to understand the dynamic of my own life.Actually... trying to find a way for a better life ... but being aware that the trick with variety ... is just an illusion ... which is poisoning my soul.
SELF THERAPY
Self therapy is actually a practice used by thousands of years by the humans … to analyze, define and why not even redefine the inner souls … for simple becoming a better self … on the scene of life.Can be used by anyone … with only one condition …. to not lie yourself anymore … and become in the same time the therapist … but also the patient.It’s a non ending process … but i guarantee you … it worth to bother doing it. Realizing the connection with the self … it all becomes different and the answers to all our questions ….will come by themselves … helping us to see the real paths that we should follow in life.It’s quite simple.It works …And we should try it!
THE LITTLE BOSSES
Truth be told we don’t understand so well the world we live in.And it’s not that we suffer of an absence of intelligence… but because we don’t really have the ability to connect to the universe we are living in.We don’t understand the people that are around us.We can’t really understand their reactions …. their way of being … and in fact … almost nothing.We live in here by so, so many years … but …Well …. we don’t even understand ourselves either …In times of calmness all looks ok … but the second a very little change appears in the parameters that define our lives … something is activated inside of us and we start to be dominated by energies … came from nowhere …And we start to have all sorts of weird reactions.All it’s clear … and we can see it’s not our … usual behaviour … or our usual personality… but it’s weird … observing all those new reactions.We analyse … but can’t really understand what is going on.It’s most probably… a hidden side of our personality… but even if we are conscious of everything… we can’t understand what is really going on.… that’s maybe … the nice story … being conscious of some weird energies which are dominating our lives.And i call it a nice story .. cause once we succeed to calm down … this side of our personality … fades little by little.But many other energies are dominating our lives … and we are not even conscious of that.We become into the end … totally dominated by those energies … acting like entities… defined only and only by their obsessions.And we see so many examples like that near us ….People dominate by … alcohol.… or drugs.… or the desire of eating … even if they lost control of their weight.… or money.… or sex …… or work …The list of obsessions is … infinite.I look at the people from the stage of my life, but also at myself … and it’s like some little bosses are totally controlling life into one point.I personally became conscious of it.I know of their existence … and i’d love to define those weird entities that are dominating us … beyond the scene of reality.Don’t know if i’ll succeed … but i’ll try …
EXPLORING SOULS
I think during my lifetime … i’ve been annoyed one million times.I was annoyed of lots of people and the circumstances created by them … and many times … my reactions were really ugly.I’ve blamed everyone.On and on and on.And even if i knew that it was all a reflection … when it came about my own life … i was blind and could not accept such a theory.I was living 2 parallel lives … one where i was a theoretician that is analyzing and defining life …. and one living on the scene of my real life … where i was ignoring all i was doing in the first life.It was a total nonsense to have 2 lives in the same time … instead of mixing them .. and trying to create a hybrid version for my existence.There were moments when i was laughing of myself … of how silly i was … but …Well … i was blind.I count not connect the 2 realities.I could not be … just one.It was like i had … 2 souls inside of me … which was probably the most ridiculous idea i could come with.But …. time was passing … and i was starting to understand… what was wrong.I had indeed … 2 souls.One was the self … the real one, the one connected with the Universe … and the other one was …. my ego … my fake self … which looked all the time … so damn real.I continued my life … balancing.On and on …. and on.In fact i was not applying my spiritual knowledge to my own life … and i kept being annoyed.No matter how good the curent reality was … i always found a reason … not to be satisfied … or even continue being unhappy.It was like i was ignoring … even perfect case scenarios.Well … in both of my parallel lives … i was analyzing a lot …. all around myself … but as a thinker i was looking at everything with detachment … and on the scene of reality … i was treating everything … as real.There was no … detachment.I had to mix my 2 personalities … and become just one.It was ok that i was analyzing everything and everyone … but i had to stop judging and most important to ignore … or at least to pretend i don’t see the dark side of all was going on.I had to stop being annoyed.I had this freedom of exploring souls … but i had to learn to practice … the acceptance.Being annoyed … was so, so stupid of me … cause i was annoyed of … my own reflection.… of what i disliked on myself.Exploring deeply the world and all the souls i was seeing on the scene of reality … was ok.But … the wisest thing i could do … was to let my 2 parallel lives to interfere.Apply the spiritual principles into the real life.Forget about the illusion … of myself.
SPIRITUAL GARBAGE AND OUR ILLUSORY BLINDNESS
Today i would dare to define all our negative emotions as … spiritual garbage.We could speak about … sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment, and frustration … and many other issues … which bring a negative impact on our lives.After studying the people from the stage of my life, but also people which i never met in person … I’ve realized that many times the life itself … just sucks … because we allow to be connected and also be dominated… by lots of negative emotions.We accept … into our souls … ugly energies … which have a huge impact on us … on short and long term.And … we not even pay attention to those details.We ignore … the impact.We ignore that something which today looks so, so unimportant… sooner or later will have full control … on ourselves.Yes … truth be told … we are ignorants.We see this dance of contradictory emotions … that is actually controlling our lives … as normality.We not even dare to think of such a concept as …. spiritual garbage.But … you know why?!Cause … everyone … let us believe that this is … normal.And … yes … it’s normal to be surrounded… by garbage.That …. this is part of life.I smile in front of such perceptions.Then … i laugh of myself.I realize … how i’ve wasted my life … allowing myself to have inside myself an universe dominated … by negativity.And … changing all … became … just … a decision … but i was too coward to accept this ugly concept of … spiritual garbage.Even … if all was so, so obvious.
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THE VIBE AMPLIFIER
Together with my friends Paul and Brian, talking about the philosophy of life and the paths that we should follow ... trying to find ideas for a beautiful reality ... we came to the conclusion that the human being needs kind of a vibe amplifier that should be around all the time.The 3 of us are now over 40 and even if many wrote me asking if Paul and Brian really exist or they are just my imaginary friends ... i smile each time when i read that question, understanding that the 2 of them are somehow my reflection ... of my thoughts, actions, desires and everything defines me.Paul is the one that came first with the weird idea of the ... vibe amplifier and even if me and Brian laughed of him when we heard his theory .... later on we saw that we are actually looking for the same thing .... in different other forms.Paul was practicing a form of a modern art ... admiring beautiful ladies and thought all his life that the right woman, carrying an amazing vibe when she is with you ... can make you have the greatest vibe that you could carry inside of your soul during this life time.I was believing in my businesses.More money i was making, more happier i was.Well ... until i realized that it was just an illusory path ... and the meaning of life, or at least of my life is not to make money.Brian was somewhere between me and Paul.He wanted money, ladies and everything could make him be happy ... even if he also realized the illusory meaning of it.But ... he always wanted ... the best.In fact we discussed a lot about the illusion of life and this chase for volatile reasons that would make us have an amazing vibe ... and we came up all the time with lots of weird ideas.This is how we started to analyze ... define and redefine the paths that we should follow in life so that life itself should become a beautiful journey.In the book “The vibe ... amplifier” we gonna talk about different ways of becoming ... happy, but also ways of keeping that happiness inside of your inner soul.So …. what if ... Paul’s theory with the vibe amplifier is true?!What if ... connected to the present moment ... but also being helped by something, or someone ... the beautiful vibe will be amplified and amazing beautiful feelings will overwhelm our souls?!What if this really works?!Should we pay attention to this theory?!Well ... if you are already a happy person ... you can ignore us.But ... maybe if your reality is not the way you wanted ... and you dreamed so much about it ... you can come and join us on this journey of finding the real path of a ... beautiful life.There will be many times when everything might look like a nonsense ... but we’ve always considered that part of life.We will try to do our best to find that path ... the real one and we’ll ask you from the early beginning to forgive us if from time to time we will also guide you to what we love to define as ... pathless paths.But you see ... life is a journey and we should not think so much as we do it ... at the final destination ... but enjoy the journey itself!
PRETENDING
All my writings are kind of a … self therapyAnd i was writing on and on and on …. defining my feelings and thoughts … But it was a little bit funny realizing the contradiction between what i thought, what i felt deep inside of my soul … and how i was acting on the stage of life.… analyzing and defining myself … the one that i thought i was … deep into my soul … and the one from the outside world … i was realizing it’s such a huge difference.And still … i was trying to be better … but all i was doing was … pretending … on and on and on.But why?!Why … this huge different between my inner self and the one from the stage of life?!I knew the theory … and knew all i had to do … and i was really pretending … i was doing the right thing, but … Well …. most probably my real problem … which was a huge one …. was probably that i was disconnected from my inner self.I knew about that self.I knew it exists … and i had to be one with it … and even if i was pretending i was doing the right thing … it was all a lie.I was lying myself … pretending … on and on and on …Why?!Why?!Why?!Until one day … when i decided that i need to stop doing that … and practicing the process of self therapy … i started to be more honest in front of myself.Cause … I was simple … wasting my life … pretending … and i really had to redefine myself.
BEYOND THE NONSENSE … THERE IS A PATH
And one day .... you see no difference between your world and the life in North Korea ... but you don’t know whyWhen i began to study the nonsense ... i realized that ... behind the nonsense there is a path that we can’t see.When i say nonsense ... i mean all our silly actions ... or thoughts.We live in a robotic way ... and even if we are not happy in the present moment ... we just continue everything in the same way ... on and on and on.One day, we even start to believe that we live in a prison ... or prisons.The job is a prison.The marriage is a prison.Everything around ... is just a repetitive way of living ... having no sense at all.There is no joy of being alive.You actually have a life similar with the one of the people from North Korea ... but the problem is that you are the dictator ... and you was the one that somehow chose the prison ... or even built it.No one forced you to go at the job you have now and actually you can change it anytime.No one forced you to get married and in fact you can change the partner ... or just ... simple divorce.You see no difference between your world and the life in North Korea ... but you don’t know why.Well ... let me tell you the truth.You accepted the nonsense as your main way of living your life.You are the one that is responsible for your unhappiness ... and in fact ... you are also the one that could change everything right away.The nonsense is a pathless path ... that actually goes to your soul.Accepting its presence ... defining it ... you realize that beyond it ... there is indeed a path.The present moment.Enjoy it!The prison ... even if it is only metaphoric ... or a real one ... is the best place you could be ... but you need to understand that the only secret is that we should enjoy life and feel alive.
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF AN ILLUSION
Identifying the illusion is not enough.But smiling is sometimes the only … option.You see … when we connect to people, we also connect to their inner worlds.And we see so, so many ideas, emotions, perceptions … such a large spectrum … that we don’t really understand most of the times.Sometimes … we ignore them.Sometimes .. we connect to those universes .. believing they are real and we somehow become part of them.No one ever told us … that we don’t have to believe that something is … real.We could simple look at the image from the front of our eyes … just as we look at a beautiful painting, asking ourselves what is the meaning that the artist had in mind when created that scene?!And now the question is …. who is the artist behind the illusion?!What is the meaning of the illusion?!How do we recognize this illusion if it said that all we see it’s an illusion?!How can we get out of such stories, repeated on and on and on?!Is there any theory that we should know regarding the illusions?!What do we understand seeing and connecting to the human being spectrum?!Well … i simple smile.I used to analyze and define a lot my life and everything that happened around myself, until the day when i realized i am a prisoner … But it was all so weird … cause i was the prisoner, the guardian of the prison, but also the prison itself.I was all … so how could i get rid of that?!And all the time i was remembering … that it’s all and illusion.That is the moment when i had the power to smile again … but being so silly, it all took such a long time to realize it.I was spending my life in a prison with invisible walls, jumping from my illusions to other’s people illusory worlds.I was simple replacing an illusion with another illusion … believing i escaped from the illusion.And still …I was having a weird feeling … that i was living the illusion of being part of an illusion.Each time a new story.And a new one.… and another one.
Daemons
Daemons are well hided into the unconscious There were many times into my life when all looked perfect.Well … until something happened and the dynamic of all became different.Having again an ugly existence.Even … pathetic.And i was trying and trying and trying to understand what is going on … but …Today i trend to believe that all is related to the fact that me or someone around me access some weird energies.I have the tendency to call them … negative energies, but i am not doing it anymore.All being a story about energies, some of them being beneficial to me … and some just ruining all.Unfortunately … more i dig … it becomes more and more obvious to myself … that all is related to things that are into my unconscious.Randomly coming up to surface.Weird things … which are unclear even for myself, but being a surprise.Many times … unpleasant surprises.But .. all is unclear.Confusing.I feel i am right when i say that deep inside myself are some daemons which sometimes are coming back to surface, destroying my life … but of course i look so, so weird saying it.Crazy.Even stupid.Very similar with the ones who lost their minds.But … daemons are part of my being.Randomly dominating everything.Ruining all.So … i probably have to admit that i am not conscious enough.Cause … there are too many times when i lose control on myself.Destroying all … with the pathetic shows of the daemons.The funny thing is that it’s me doing all, but probably under the total dominance of energies which i can’t really understand.Cause … yes … all is confusing.My life is a real enigma.A dynamic which i can’t understand.Probably … i’ll never understand it.I know, i feel and i accept that my unconscious hides lots of daemons which sometimes come to surface … enslaving me as a human … and forcing as my behaviour to become extremely stupid, negative, toxic … and making me look like a real monster.But …Well … it’s all a too weird story.I start to have a full picture about all what is going on, because i have clear statistics about all what is going on … but all i can probably do is to try to calm those annoying entities which are influencing my life so, so much.Well … my life continues anyway … with or without my approval.I just hope … i can become more conscious.And get rid of those influences … which i can’t accept, cause are just ruining all.Or maybe … all is an illusory hope.
THINKING LIKE FREUD
Rule number 1 in … self therapy.Whatever happens …. happens for a reason …. but it’s never what it looks like.Even if we agree … or not.A very wise thing which i realised by the passing of time is that i should accept all what happens into my life … cause there are certainly things which i don’t clearly understand …. and most probably i won’t be able to do it so very soon.“Thinking like Freud” …. is a way of expressing my influence to the public … of following the path of a so called self therapy … and always keep in mind that we should analyse and define all related to our lives.But analyse … very, very deep.…. and define with honesty … all what is going on.Keep also in mind that all is a non ending process … that … one day … might help us to understand better who we are … but also why our lives looks like they look like.Of course …. not many have a psychologist diploma …. but we don’t need one … for having this process of healing our souls.Hell … no ….I don’t have such a diploma of psychologist either … and i’ll never bother to do something so that i could get one.All i know is that i have the right …. to speak to myself … but also whisper to the others that they should try to find the elements that influence their lives … and even dominate all around … in such a profound way … that in fact the whole scenario has nothing to do with what they really wanted.All becomes a story about seeing life … and mostly our lives from on million perspective.So … the final question remains … should we bother to do it?!Maybe yes …. maybe no …But if your life just sucks …. this process of self therapy … might be the right magic pill that you should test … for a better existence.And … yes … i believe it’s better than alcohol, drugs, gambling … and many other addiction that this life has to offer to us.
LIFE SEEN AS A … QUOTE
Sometimes we see life ... weird.But there are times when we also see it in a beautiful way.This balance will always be there.I became a writer, by writing simple quotes on my phone.Writing on and on and on.I was meditating a lot ... what life is about ... and in fact ... what my life actually means.After almost 3 years i started to look to all those thoughts ... which were simple ideas ... but were mine.There were defining me.And i became deeper and deeper.I was exploring all my thoughts and feelings.Today ... reading again all those things i wrote ... i just smile.I see the journal of my thinking.Thoughts.... and feelings.... thousands of them.Many ... in total contradiction.1000 versions of myself.And it’s quite difficult to understand many of those versions i was.But all of them ... is me.I read one more time ... and i have moments when i start even to laugh.So many thoughts and feelings.Such a large spectrum that defines me in so, so many ways ... but still ... it’s just me.I am only one.The one i decide to be each day.At the end ... i realize it all was an interesting exercise .... expressing all i thought or felt.This journal ... is my view over life.Many of the things i wrote ... i find totally ridiculous .... but i just smile ... and don’t judge any version of myself.I would even dare to ask you ... to copy this exercise ... cause might help you a lot.It will help you understand better who you are ... and maybe decide who you want to be tomorrow ... according to the dynamic of your thoughts and feelings.3 years means ... a little bit more of 1000 days ... and indeed 1000 versions of myself
The art of playing around with the energies that surround us
I was meditating over a list of tips and tricks that could help us improve our lives ... and i think the main trick we should have in mindis just ... try to not control anything at all.Only play on the stage of our own lives ... and even being surroundedby so, so many energy forces ... we should embrace all of them ... no matter if they are positive and negative.We should somehow dance with those energies and enjoy the dance itself, which actually means accept everything happens, even if it happens for a reason difficult to be understood now.You see, we have lots of options in life, like live in society and interactwith it, no matter what that means ... live in society, but practice the solitude and avoid the interaction ... but also leave this world, go in a place where you can’t find anyone around and be just you with your inner self.For most of us, what really happens ... we live inside the society and even if we don’t want to interact with it ... we are somehow forced to do it ... to better understand the life lessons we have to learn during this life time.Trying to see this art of playing around with energies ... becomes a must and we can’t survive without it.And even if we don’t want to become artists .... it’s the only art the Universe is asking us to study.But ... connecting to people becomes many times really annoying.Indeed ... there will be times when the connection will give us joy, likein a love story or the relations we have with good friends or our children ... but there will be many, many occasions when the connections will just ... hurt us.So ... do we have a choice to decide when we should stop interacting?! Well ... being an art ... you will actually understand that in the process, using some tips and tricks that i will write about ... we can connect, disconnect and then re connect anytime we want.We should not be afraid of any kind of energy ... no matter if it is positive or negative energy ... cause all around us is just a reflection of our own souls.You just can’t be afraid of ... you.If we see beautiful things, events and situations in our present moment ... it means we are in good spiritual shape ... on the right frequency.If we somehow totally dislike and disagree everything around us ... it means ... something is wrong inside of the inner soul.I’ve read lots of books over the years and i was also meditating a lot over the meaning of life ... and all i can say today is that the trick for a beautiful life is just embrace reality, no matter how that is.And if you want to change something ... try to change in the inner world ... not the outside world.You will never be able to change the reflection from the mirror ... if you don’t change what is in front of the mirror.The art of dancing with the energies from our lives ... can be learnt just as you learn the art of dancing.Connect with the partner ... and the music ... and synchronize all the movements ... for a beautiful dance.
THE DIRTY MIND
Expressing all our ideas … or thoughts is most probably …a must.Accepting that into one point we’ll be shocked discovering our dirty minds … it’s also a must.But i believe it’s all part of understanding us as humans.Concepts us spiritual ugliness … sins … and many other similar ideas must be avoid for a while … if we really want to heal our broken souls.We should not be surprised …. or socked and not try to avoid … the truth.We should simple allow our personality to be expressed the way it wants to be expressed.… and stop judging ourselves.Yes … we should allow ourselves to be wild … allow all our thoughts to be expressed in any way they need to be expressed … but also do your best to practice the acceptance …
CONNECTING IS ABOUT … SYNCHRONISING ENERGIES
We speak so, so much about connections …. but …. maybe the real truth is that we most probably have no idea what that is.I’ve been meditating a lot on the subject … but the only thing i can honestly declare is that … i had one million perceptions about the subject … but could not reach the absolute truth.All my ideas … were simple perceptions… and nothing more.I’ve imagined the connection itself as a … bridge … between souls.Then … as a flame.Later on … simple as the beauty of being together.But later on …. I’ve realised that the connection is more about … synchronising energies.It’s actually like a dance.And we could pretend we dance … or we could actually synchronise… and have … at least for the time we hear the music … an amazing dance.Some would say … i am talking about a … cliche …. but i’ve started to believe more and more into this theory.So … i’ve decided to analyse people … dancing.I looked at a lots of …. reels.Looked at their gestures … the expression of their faces …. and all related to the dance itself.I loved those reels.I loved … not the dance … or the music …. but the way i saw them connecting one with the other.Those were people which understood… the huge importance of … synchronising.And i’ve said to myself … what if this art of connecting for obtaining a beautiful dance … should be applied in all the relationships we have with the people from the stage of our lives?!What if this psychology… and philosophy…. could dominate … the way we act?!Maybe that is really the trick … for a beautiful life.And we should keep that in mind … all the time.In all we do … with anyone we should be with …So …. life seen as a dance … keeping in mind the power of synchronising … looks like ….But maybe … that is not the absolute truth either … so let’s keep meditating…And live with the hope that the tricks about how to have a beautiful life … will be revealed to us … sooner or later.Meanwhile …. I would dare to invite you test … anything.Including this theory that connection is about synchronising energies.And ….Well … i’ll let everyone see … test … try …As an essayist… i’m just a thinker … having one million perceptions …Writing … my only purpose is to make people start meditating… on all those subjects.So …
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
The painter that never paintsUnfortunately many times in my life, i was acting as my friend ... the painter ... that painter that was never paintingIt was Paris ... about 4-5 years ago.Someone introduced me a lady, which was a painter ... a very smart lady ... a genius i could say and it was a pleasure to spent time with her.We became friends.We started to go out everyday to the amazing coffees shops from the central area ... the ones close to the Seine and we were talking for hours.She was telling me about her next paintings and was describing me in tiny details all the elements of the scenes.Had an amazing way of talking ... but also knew a lot aboutart.In few weeks ... me ... a guy that did not knew anything about art, started to understand what is the whole meaning of art in our lives.Soon i understand that she is not painting anymore, cause, for the moment, she does not have the necessary money for painting materials .... and right away i give her an amount that she could start again.I also promise her to not worry, cause i will give as much as she needs to continue her work.Few days later, i dare to ask her if she started to work on the paintings that she was telling me about ... and suddenly she became very annoyed.Not understanding what is really going on ... being a polite person ... i succeed to change the subject and we continued in a nice way our conversation while drinking the amazing parisian coffee, but few days later i ask her again the same question.Suddenly she changed her face and became so angry that i thought for a second that she wants to ... kill me.I could not understand what was wrong.I was asking a painter if she was started to paint ... cause now she had the money for the materials.Again i succeed to avoid the useless conflict with her, but going to her apartment, which was small like any parisian apartment ... i see no painting materials.In the end she tells me that the materials will come in few more days, cause it was a delay to her order, but also asks if i can give her some extra money, for another order also.I smile ... cause in Paris you find painting materials in the city center and she could buy them right away ... but i give her the money she asked for.Before leaving the apartment, in the last second ... i see drugs on the small table from the entrance.I smile again ... and understood she used the money to buy drugs instead of materials.I saw at her house about 15 paintings and indeed she was a great painter, but she was the painter that was actually never painted.I leave ... and i get mad.It was all a trap.I was fooled like a 5 years old kid by this lady and actually i was helping her to take drugs ... without realizing not even for a second what i am doing.She called me later on ... 100 times, but never answer her back.Even told me that she will go to the Police to make a complain against me ... but could not clearly understand why.One year later, i accidentally meet her near the Opera ... and she was pretending that she did not knew my name anymore.I smile ... we exchange 2-3 words and i leave.But one day, 2 years later ... i was meditating again over the subject for about 2 weeks.Something was unclear for me ... and did not knew what and why.I judged her too much ... but maybe i was also the painter that never paints ... many, many, many times in my life.My parents supported me to study at the University of Polytechnics ... but i was not going to courses and instead iwas losing my time in the coffee shops all day long.I was the student that never went to classes ... and i was doing same as the painter that was never painting.I complete University, i open a company and i had so many clients that sometimes i took money from my clients, spent them ... and forget to deliver the promised services to the clients.It was such a chaos at that time, that it was a total mess with the orders ... so ... i was doing what??!I was the businessman that promised to deliver some services that were never delivered.I was judging the painter ... but i was worst as her.The list with my silly mistakes from life ... was huge.I remember i read hundreds of books of personal growth ... and one day i even read a lot about management if conflicts ... and guess what i did next after i finished studying that subject?!I laugh ... while writing to you ... cause what i did was that i had more and more useless conflicts with the people from my life.So ... the best definition of myself could probably be the same as that silly lady ... the painter that never paints.
MY LIFE IN A PRISON WITH INVISIBLE WALLS
If you ask a school boy about the ideal life ... that is one without homework and very long vacations.The summer vacation is the ideal time for them ... but still one day the autumn is coming.If you ask an employe in a corporation about the ideal life ... he will say that he would love as the working week to have 2 days of work a day instead of 5.The school boy, no matter the age ... is not feeling free.Years ago ... when he was not in school ... he felt the freedom of doing only what he wanted to do.The employee from the corporation, even if he knows that he is paid very, very well ... he is not feeling free either.But why?!Well ... cause the society is teaching us ... somehow by force ... to live in ... “prisons”.Now let me give you another example.Let’s assume the case of a businessman, that already had success, has a beautiful house, has money, a good company, a wife, beautiful kids .... basically everything.And ... still ... if you ask him if he is happy ... he will only reply that a piece from the puzzle is missing.I know lots of businessmen that have a great success ... and even if they have everything ... almost all of them have a mistress that is completing their lives.It’s a non sense ... i know ... cause most of them have the perfect life scenario.An amazing house.A amazing car ... or cars.A beautiful wife.Very nice children.... and?!Why this nonsense?!Why does a person look for something else when already has the perfect life?!Well ... cause what we call ... perfection ... is only a dogmatic way of seeing life.The missing piece from the puzzle is the mistress ... that makes him feel loved in a totally different way.She makes him be ... a free person.A hobby would make the school boy and even the employee from the corporation ... to love what is doing ... and also feel free ... enjoying the present activity.You see ... no matter what path we chose in life ... the moment when we forget about the dogmatic path of living ... we feel the freedom.We feel alive.Our actions ... will look like a total nonsense to the others ... but we will be happy.The human being is looking for perfection ... but the happiness is not found in there.The dogmatism will never help us to ... be us.But ... on the path of discovering ... the real path ... at least we will have the guts to ... dream ... about the real freedom.
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED ... a way of wasting our lives
Maybe life is too short to waste it with … useless things.Maybe it’s time to start meditating more.To analyze our behavior … but also the one of the people around us.To pay attention to the impact of influences over our lives … but also on the lives of others.Understand that … domination … no matter of its character… positive or negative …. It’s a concept that we should not allow it to become real.And we should also be aware of how a simple small influence … that is repeated on and on and on … could become … dominance …. without even realizing.
BEHIND THE ABSTRACT
Someone once said to me ... “I don’t want to be abstract ... I want it to be real”.It was the reply at the fact that i’ve said to her that a friend of mine, that was in fact married, was loving her in an abstract way.But we all do the same ... we refuse to understand the meaning of the abstract in our lives ... or to see what is the message behind the message.And then we live the same experiences on and on and on ... and we keep wondering why ... why ... why??!!I believe today that refusing to start learning the art of understanding the abstract ... is a way of refusing to continue growing as a spiritual being.Somehow the Universe, even if we dislike it, gives us the same lesson on and on and on ... but we just can’t see that the Universe loves us ... all of us ... and tries all the time to save and help us ... to understand what we call lessons of life.The abstract is strange sometimes ... i know ... but seeing what is behind the abstract, you understand the meaning of life.So ... how should we start?!Where we should pay more attention in the events from our lives?!Well ... somehow is quite simple.Everything has a huge impact on us ... annoys us in a terrible way ... or has a repetitive character ... in there you will find the meaning of the lessons you need to study.In the end ... we can even use the slogan ... “It’s not what it looks like” ... cause probably this is the real definition of the abstract.But can we ignore the signs?! ... the lessons?!You might have moments when you could believe that ... but then the power of the message will have a stronger intensity.And will be repeat on and on and on ... and the abstract values will annoy you in a terrible way.The solution?!Maybe ... just have an opened mind and pay attention to the details.So ... we should spend life only meditating?!Sure not ... but we should keep the right balance between living and enjoying life ... and also thinking about it ... its messages and how we could grow as spiritual beings.And probably keep in mind that ... behind the abstract there is a always message.
Full Clearing Another World under a Goddess with Zero Believers: Volume 7
Fresh off their victory over the demon lord Bifrons, Makoto’s party joins Princess Sophia on a political trip to broker an alliance with Great Keith. However, diplomacy quickly goes out the window when the party is attacked by Great Keith’s Hero of Incandescence, who is known to be the strongest hero of them all. On top of that, Makoto soon hears rumors that one of his former classmates has been captured and sold into slavery. As the Roses delegation tries to get to the heart of the matter, they find themselves facing another one of the Snake Sect’s nefarious plots. And though Makoto has thwarted them before, this time, he’s at a distinct disadvantage—Great Keith, with its desert climate, has hardly any water elementals! Can Roses secure a mighty new ally? Or will both nations fall into the hands of demons?
PRACTICING … THE NONSENSE … AS AN ART
What is the non sense?What is behind it?What is hided in the things that makes no sense at all?!Why we have them in our lives?!Who’s responsible of generating that?!Are we attracting the non sense ... or we are the ones behind the creation of it?!Should we accept it ... or simple smile in front of it ... and actually understand that the non sense itself is the expression of the fact that we are on a journey on a pathless path?!Lots of question ... and maybe no real answer.Or maybe lots of answers ... but none of them is satisfying us.I was reading tons of books ... with the hope that one day ... i will find the right algorithm so that i can totally remove the non sense from my life.Until one day ... when a lady friend of mine ... that i consider an expert into dealing and understanding the energies of life ... told me ... “Why do you think the nonsense is keep appearing yourself .... but is not present at all in my life?!Why those situations are appearing on and on and on?!I am sure ... you can accept ... at least for a while ... that the problem itself is not life and circumstances ... but you.”As always ... she was tough with me, but each time i was speaking with her ... i was clarifying for myself lots of things.But the ... nonsense ... was still there.It was indeed a part of my life ... and i had to learn how to deal with it.Somehow ... i was in the position of being forced to learn to practice the non sense as an ... art.It’s quite a ridiculous concept .... but there was nothing else to do ... cause it appeared on and on and on.Each day i was waking up ... i’ve been asking myself .... what the hell is going to happen today?!What else ... could it be?!I felt trapped in a prison with invisible walls ... and i could not find any way out of this story ... so all it was left to do was to see the message behind all what was going on.And until then ... i had to redefine my perceptions about any circumstances.Somehow the Universe was forcing me to become an artist .... in dealing and practicing daily nonsense ... but i was still hoping that one day the awakening moment will appear ... and the illusion of life will be revealed for me ...
THINK … DEEPER
Have you even asked yourself why so many people in this world are living an unhappy life?!But what about you?!Are you a happy person ... or not?!And if not ... have you ever thought why?!Is just a simple question, same as you would ask yourself why you don’t know skying ... if you never took lessons for that?!You see ... truth be told ... in school we’ve learnt lots of things, including complicated math formulas, languages that we will never use in life, chemistry issues that will not serve us with nothing etc etc ... but no one ever bothered to teach us at least a short list with things to do .. for having a beautiful .. and why not ... an amazing life.I mean .. we can easily understand that we can’t paint if we haven’t learnt the art of painting, we can’t sing piano without a little bit of help came by a piano teacher etc etc ... but when it comes to life ... to our private lives in fact ... we simple can’t find the path for a non ending great story.There is always something that is ruining our vibes.We find ... lots of silly problems ... and we actually allow them to disturb us from staying on the right spiritual frequency ... and in fact ... enjoy life.But ... let me tell you the truth ... i did the same for years ... many, many years in a row.My life was kind of an emotional dance ... between good and bad vibes ... but i could not find a way of stopping it.I even named it ... in a silly way ... the dance of emotions.Until one day when i realized that this nonsense journey back and forth ... from good to bad energies ... was ruining my inner soul.I knew i had to stop it, but i felt i had no control over the process.It all looked like i was in a prison with invisible walls ... and i had no escape at all.I started to meditate.More and more.Understood that i need to look deeper ... why i have this silly balance of duality ... if i want a beautiful life.This is when i started to look deeper and deeper ... analyzing and defining my life from on million perspectives.In the end .. by talking to myself a lot, but also writing my thoughts ... i somehow became my own therapist.I invite you in a journey of discovering the way of thinking deeper ... what life is really about ... and how we can remove the negative elements from our timeline ... but also replace them with beautiful things that might bring us an existance fulfilled with eternal great vibes.
ONE DAY … ONE SOUL
Over the years i’ve been meeting lots of people ... which i the end ... i would like to call them ... souls.In fact i was dealing with thousands of them ... and i had moments when i’ve wondered myself ... why do i meet the whole spectrum of the human beings?!What is the message behind that?!What the Universe is trying to whisper to me?!But what i can say that it was funny ... was that i met people i liked, people i disliked, people that i liked and then i disliked and ... people i disliked and then i liked.The interactions were of so many different types ... that i almost started to believe that i am at school ... a school where i need to understand what the human being is.But i had to understand ... the whole spectrum of them ... no matter who they were.There were moments when i was almost forced to deal with certain prototypes of souls that i not even thought that exist.Yes ... i felt ... forced by the Universe ... to meet many of those persons ... but i knew it was a reason it was happening.I had events when I thought some people were trying to destroy me ... but at the end of those stories i had become a better and also stronger person.And i also met persons that i thought that they will somehow rebuild myself ... and ended the story with them almost ruined emotionally.But i realized one thing ... everything had a purpose ... to reveal me what life is about ... by having so many interconnections with the people from the world.Today ... same as always ... i still love socializing ... with everybody ... but i don’t judge the connections anymore.I see it as a ... life experience ... and in fact as a blessing in my evolution as a human being.I know that every human i met ... it’s just a reflection of my inner self.When i meet good people ... i need to pay attention at all those positive attributes i see ... but also keep them active as much as i can in my personality.And when ... i meet people i dislike ... i have the courage to admit that they are ... the reflection of that part of myself ... which in fact i dislike.But ... i admit that i still have moments when i believe in the illusion of life ... believe in the duality ... and that i am not wise enough.I continue to analyze and define everything i see on the timeline of my own life ... but also keep active the process of redefining myself.And i love being the witness of ... my life.
DISCONNECTING ... ... seen as un amazing trick for a beautiful life
Disconnect ... connect ... disconnect again ... re connect ... seen as a circle of life.I try to understand life.But ... it's probably an illusory desire.Most probably ... the real truth is that i want to know how can i totally disconnect from all what means negativity.Totally disconnect from .... unhappiness ... and all what makes me feel ... depressed..... my anger, my frustrations, my envy, my jealousy, my .... all this large spectrum of negative feelings and emotions.And ... i keep meditating.I keep ... exploring.I pretend i want to know what this universe is ... but all i want is to find out how i can be happy ... or at least eliminate this sadness from my soul.And more i analyse... more i feel that it is all about ... disconnecting.Cause .... yes ... i can't stop being angry if i don't disconnect from the reasons why ... i am angry.I can't stop myself be jealous ... if i don't disconnect from the reasons why i am jealous.I can't stop myself ... envy someone ... if i don't totally disconnect from that person.I can't stop being furious ... if I don't disconnect from the reasons why i am furious.But ... i am too illogical to be able to stop being dominated by ... sadness.Yes ... too illogical.I could simple keep in mind those ideas ... and the moment when i feel any negative vibe ... try to understand right away why i feel that ... and what i have to disconnect from.It is simple.But ... maybe too simple for an idiot as myself.Fortunately ... being my own therapist ... I continue this charade of pretending i am sort of a philosopher or psychologist … trying in find to find out the reasons of my unhappiness.And ... i keep analysing.More ... and more ...The funny thing is that ... today ... i trend to believe that a beautiful life is a lot related on the ability of being disconnected ... from negativity.Cause ... life itself is beautiful.So ... maybe i should become more conscious ... on the stage of life.Feel better ... the energies ... and be more selective ...
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
Most probably … the worst disease of our times is … the depression.And … unfortunately we can see it everywhere … at many souls from the stage of our lives.But what i personally discovered is that depression is not really something … 100% negative.I see it today … more as an aggressive signal … which is whispering us that … we forgot to be … happy.Nothing more … nothing less …
INSERT COIN
Having dreams is .... normal.We also see people having clear goals ... and it's quite interesting... looking like a more organised person which is dreaming.... on and on and on.And the truth is ... that the human being could be defined as a machine ... that is always coming up with new and new desires.I look into my past ... and i see myself saying in front of the Universe ... i want that and that ... and that.And ... i can't stop myself ... even if i know that same as Budha said ... the desire itself is the source of all the human pain.I smile realising how i've wasted my life chasing for on million contradictory desires.... but also honestly realising ... this is a non ending story.So ... starting a weird process of self therapy... analysing all those desires ... especially the ones that obsessed myself ... I've finally concluded that in fact ... i want more to "taste" those desires.It was like i loved Rolls Royce... and i wanted to drive such an amazing car ... but i did not really wanting to pay such a huge price for this car .... the maintenance ... the taxes …the insurance etc.In fact ... all i wanted was to ... drive it ... for a while ... and enjoy the sensation of doing it.And the list of similar desires ... was so damn long ...So ... i wanted that ... and that and that ... hoping in fact that ... i'll get some sensations... which will bring me nice vibes into my soul.But .... It was only one problem.I did not really wanted to ... pay the price.Almost ... for any of those desires which were dominating obsessively my existence.Time was passing ... and i was somehow ending all the time ... being sad and disappointed.... cause my desires did not became real.Not all of them ... but many.But ... i've also noticed with some of those weird desires which i had .... that they were not what I've imagined.It was indeed all ... illusory.I could simple try and test all ... simple paying a price ... like renting the Rolls ... and see if i really want such a car.It was not that i could afford it ... but i could try to taste it ... by paying a minimum price for that ... only to understand better if that was a good path to follow or not.I had to insert ... a coin.But i was not really ready to do it.Yes ... not even pay ... a vey little price for it.I was just dreaming ... so nicely pretending i have clear goals with my life ... but all i was doing was to allow being dominated by those illusory desires.And this moment when i've understood i have only 3 choices... my life changed.Firstly ... I could ... stop dreaming.Or i could pay the price of getting that desire ... and stop being so stupid ... believing that a great dream ... costs 2 pennies.Or ... i could simple .... "taste" a little bit that desire .... see if i really want it ... and then decide if i delete that obsession from my mind ... or not.So ... all was about ... insert coin ... paying the price for it ... or .... simply stop myself dreaming with my eyes opened... like an idiot.
CONNECTION … NOT CONNECTIONS
4 questions kept repeating into my mind, for a long, long time ... and i've decided to write the book called "Connection ... not connections" .... as a reply ... first of all for myself.Yes ... I prefer to write ... cause is a much better way to understand my perceptions..... and i already do it by a long time, all being soft of a self therapy ... defining all my thoughts... even if most of them are so, so contradictory...The number one question is what the hell is this weird concept called ... connection?! ... and what is its meaning?!Well ... more i think about it ... i become more and more confused.I have moments when i believe i had found the real truth ... but also moments when i am just disappointed of my disability of penetrating deeper the secrets of life.The only real thing that i know for sure ... is that the spiritual connection is the one that can help us ... get rid of all related with the illusory of life.And going deeper .... seeing all sorts of connections ... i ask again ... what is a love story?!What is its meaning?!Why we feel so, so changed when we find that person which we call .... soulmate?!What is happening with us ... while being into such a connection .... but also why the hell we realise into the end that all was illusory?!I smile ... but ... again ... no matter what ideas would come into my mind ... i still feel that actually this is not really a path to follow.And i'm writing that ... after personally testing all what i am saying ...I continue my meditations and into my mind appears a much weird idea ... revealed by the people which are feeling good together ... but still after an experience of life ... after being involved into lots of relationships... knowing the fact that after a while .... even the most beautiful love story becomes boring .... and being realistic enough ... they start allowing themselves to practice the art of being a swinger.And i will not bother to explain the concept... cause everyone knows it ... but it's probably a way of accepting... that we actually need to taste more than one energy.They simple can't stay .... just in one connection... adoring to occasionally taste other souls too ...The theory itself ... looks so, so weird.... and immoral of course.But ... on the other hand ... can be accepted consciously... or... by force ...Cause ... yes ... cheating is not immoral ... but a simple result of the fact the energy of the connection with the partner ... is not anymore all we wanted ... and actually needed for having the soul fulfilled with beautiful vibes.So ... i could even say that the swingers are actually... wise persons.Many would judge me ... for saying such a thing ... but ...But i continue my analyses ... and i dare to ask myself ... how the hell lives a monk alone into the monastery?!How can a human being live without a partner of life?!Is that really possible for us to live without the connection of the opposite sex?!I found that as ... weird too ... but somehow i've felt that life itself has many stages of evolution.Some ... find themselves into a relationship ... which gives them all they ever dreamed about.All the necessary energy comes from that story ... making them happy all the time.Others ... being honest enough ... with a lot of experience of life ... admitting the truth that only one type of energy is never enough for their souls ... go on the path of allowing themselves to taste other souls too.... at least from time to time.And i see the monk ... but even if in my perceptions this was a too weird scenario ... i start to realise that the monk is actually chasing for the connection with the absolute.He was most probably like all the other humans ... having desires, wishes, lots of values in common with the society... but abandoned all seeing its ephemerality.The new purpose was only to chase for the infinite connection ... meanwhile ... into the real world ... practising the solitude...But even if i write all those questions ... with an answer to each of them .... i know i did not find the real answer.No ...And it's even worst ... cause i feel that i am too far away ... of the absolute truth, the result being that into my real life ... i am actually in connection... in connections ... or disappointed of all ... i see myself practicing ... the solitude... disconnecting from everything and everyone ... having the hope that ... the real path to follow in life will be revealed to me.
EXPLORING OURSELVES
There are many times in life when we have lots of existential questions inside of our minds.Accepting those thoughts ... and actually embracing them is the path for understanding but also having a normal ... and why not ... also a beautiful life.I personally try to understand those existential questions from the early age of 4 or 5.One of the things that i remember from that time was that i was in the kitchen with my mother and she was explaining me that we live in a world with bad people and i should be aware of that.Maybe if she was telling me that Santa Claus was not real, i would have accepted that much easier.But i totally disliked what she told me and it was the first time when i disconnected myself from her.I told to myself ... “This is not true. I will explore the world and i will prove that this is not true. Noooo ... we don’t live in a world with bad people!”.It was the start of my journey on a philosophical path, that for many, many times looked like a pathless path to me, but also to the ones were looking at me.As a child i was an introvert, but today ... after socializing so, so much with so many people that i met ... i became an extrovert.And ... i accept on the stage of my life absolutely any kind of person ... i met.Even if i don’t like that person ... or i don’t feel comfortable in the presence of that spirit ... i continue my journey of exploring the human beings and i kind of like it.I try to ... read ... people ... to see each one of them as a book, cause all of them ... have their own stories... and i also try to somehow ... invent .. a guide of surviving in this world.I felt many times, probably same as you, that my mother’s theory about the world is true ... and i was too idealistic for this Universe ... but i still had the hope that things will always change into better.I was exploring life ... and while doing this i discovered that even in bad things, i will always find a beautiful side.So ... there is an ugly and a beautiful side, but depends which one we are seeing ... and the world itself can be defined as ugly or beautiful ... only and only by what we actually understand from what we see.And ... to learn the art of observing the world ... first we need to explore life ... with all its aspects and then ... meditate and ask ourselves before defining anything if it’s worth losing our time with the ugly elements ... when still life has so, so many beautiful sides.
KARMIC ENERGIES
Karmic stories … are ugly … or at least this is what we believe about them … but realizing we need to analyze and define their meaning very clear … and then try to redefine our inner self … it’s most probably a must.Karmic energies are real … even if we believe it or not … and it’s not easy to get rid of them.But we could start to accept that …. as part of life … and also as a spiritual journey … which we need to follow into this Universe.It might not make sense at all … but … the real truth is always revealed later …
THE DANCE OF OUR EMOTIONS IS A … NONSENSE … BUT A MAIN PART OF OUR LIVES
It is difficult to understand the human being ... but even worst ... it is even more difficult to understand our own souls.... our habits.... our desires.... our tendencies ... the ones we follow.Everything defines us ... from the past ... present and ... a possible future ... one that might appear in the way we want it to be.And when we start to analyze what is really going on with us ... but also understand that life is ... not just a collection of perceptions and emotions ... we start to keep wondering why the soul is always following so many contradictory directions.Why today we feel joy inside of the soul ... but tomorrow we feel so damm overwhelm by many negative energies ... from all around us ... that in the end makes us feel miserable …and the beautiful vibe is disappearing ... and never come back for long, long time.It’s funny cause the Universe does not want us to be unhappy, but to understand the illusion of life .... with everything that means ... problems, difficulties, hard situations etc ... but to realize that always ... at the end of the storm ... a beautiful sunny day is appearing.... and we should learn to enjoy it ... but we remain focused on the storm ... not seeing the beauty of the new sunny day.I smile seeing in the timeline of my life ... a dear friend that is keep repeating me everyday, almost as a mantra ... “It’s a new day! Let’s enjoy it!” ... and i am wondering is he smokes marihuana ... or i am totally blind ... not seeing the same reality he is watching at.Today ... what i know for sure is that my friend is not smoking anything ... but i haven’t the guts to accept my blindness ... and start treating myself.I see no difference between me and my friend ... but looking at him ... i can’t understand yet if he is still suffering of disease that i suffer by such a long time ... the dance of my emotions.I realized about this illness i have ... and i also realized ... studying the statistic that defines my life ... that my reality is just a reflection of all those feelings i carry in my soul.The short story is ... amazing vibes .... amazing life ... negative vibes ... a reality painted just in grey colors ... and nothing more.It’s quite a simple concept!But i continue staring at this silly dance of such contradictory emotions ... going to the left, then to the right ... then to the left again.The music itself ... is so damm boring ... but instead of pushing the stop button ... and end this dance forever ... i believe is a natural fact for the human being.And i accept it ... even if i should take the decision of creating the habit of connecting just to beautiful vibes ... the ones that makes me feel the joy of being alive.I suddenly realize that what i explained to my friend that it’s a beautiful dance of emotions ... is actually a collection of contradictory feelings that are ruining my life.The message of my friend was quite simple ... “It’s a new day ... let’s enjoy it!”.But maybe it was so damm simple that i did not considered it as being ... a good advise.This dance was controlling my life ... and even if i had the solution ... i was not taking any decision.I preferred to continue my life ... as a journey to lots of pathless paths ... not realizing that it is time to stop ... and ask the inner self ... “ What should i really do?! What is the path destined to me?! Which is the real direction i should follow” .... and maybe pray ... as this silly dance of annoying contradictory feelings to stop.And one day ... i started to finally think at the fact that i am not my emotions or my perceptions.My mind was playing around with me .... cause i never thought i should master my mind ... and not let the mind control myself.And the mind ... keeps generating all types of scenarios ... or perceptions ... then different types of emotions are appearing ... and many times contradictory ones ... amplified in a silly way ... and actually controlling my life.The truth is ... and i accepted that ... i had not become a master of my mind ... at least not yet ... but i started to desire as the dance ... to stop. And not just to stop now ... but stop forever.I don’t want to live like this anymore.I want a life connected ... only at the beauty of what life has to offer.So ... at least ... i have a dream.The one ... of getting rid of the non sense that was defining my life for years.Deep inside myself i realized it is a difficult change ... but once i’ve taken the decision ... and also keep it in mind as a powerful desire ... i am on the right path.I pay attention to everything ... to all the details that are influencing my perceptions and emotions ... analyzing ... defining ... as in the end to always redefine the script of my life ... and keep me connected to amazing vibes.
IF IT'S NOT LOVE … IT'S KARMIC
We always try to understand our thoughts and emotions regarding the relationships we are involved in.And so many times … we fail in interpreting the meaning behind all what is going on.We simple don’t understand it.We believe it’s a love story … or even the love story of our lives …. or a very good friendship … but it always has an ugly end.And damn it … it was the perfect case scenario of a connection between 2 souls.The meaning of all what happened …. becomes a nonsense.Someone that used to be a good friend … or a soul mate if it’s about a love story … becomes the worst enemy you ever had.No one around … is understanding the meaning of all that.What looked like love between 2 souls … ended as a weird life lesson.So … should we say … it’s karmic?!It looked a story about love … but all became … a lesson offered by the karma.But why?!Why this life lesson?!Why couldn’t that love story or friendship continue?!Why such a beautiful connection … ended with a betrayal?!What is the message behind that nonsense?!Love and karma … somehow 2 contradictory directions that we could follow … but maybe having the same final destination.So … is it love?!Is it karmic?!Should we ask this question from the early beginning … or simple explore and enjoy that relationship till life will reveal us the real meaning?!Asking ourselves about the fact that it could look as great connection, but might be … just karmic … or be a karmic relationship looking as an amazing connection … should induce too many paranoia ideas from the early beginning and we will not let us follow the right steps for the story.So?!Should we let everything … just happen?!Too many questions … and maybe contradictory answers.Would help a lot to know the real meaning … and maybe we should explore all the connections we have with the people from the timeline of our lives.And the final question which comes in our mind is … if it is karmic …. how do we break this karmic chain?!Well … it starts with love … has a karmic end …. but …. It always needs to end … with love.It all becomes a cycle … the love-karmic cycle.The meaning?!Maybe … to understand the connections between everything it exists in this world … and the world itself.Love?!Karmic?!Or love-karmic?!I invite you in a journey of finding those answers.And i will not be so naive to tell you that we’ll come up with the absolute truth … but …Let’s do it …Let’s analyze … define all what is going on … and if it’s karmic … there is only one thing to do … metamorphose it into … into love again.I believe that karma is not a bitch … but a teacher, but also that love is everything … and the key to the Infinity.
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
The real change will come only when you will accept it inside your soul ... There are so many books about change or success, that you will not have enough time to read them during this life time.Sometimes looking for a huge success that could complete our lives ... the change is just part of the script.And success indeed can’t come without the change.But what is the change?!Can you do it by yourself, or you just need special help from different people?!Or maybe the real change can come only from inside of us ... and the only real help as it to happen is to accept it ... not only want it.Accept it ... as part of your life.Imagine that many years ago ... you had been poor, but you dreamed to be rich.And one day you become rich.But the funny question is ... do you accept the fact that you became rich?!There are so many people that they were poor and then they became millionaires ... but soon after they lost everything again.So ... they re became poor again.They did not accepted the change.Could not integrate it in their life.When change comes in small steps ... is much easier to accept it as part of our new life.When change comes suddenly ... we need to change our thinking right away ... and dare to see the whole scene of life in different colors.On the paths trough life ... we get lost.We lose all our dreams, one by another ... and we also lose ourselves also.One day ... the idea of change looks illusory and we wonder why we can’t understand the fact that we are never happy anymore.For a beautiful life, no matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50 or even 60 or 70 ... you just need a plan ... the plan for the change.But the change needs to be a positive one ... and not a collection of silly desires.And if your life is miserable today ... small changes will make almost no difference at all.The change needs to be a process of ... dreaming big no matter what happens in your actual life.But you need to visualize and accept the future ... cause the real change means the break up from your past.You will lose yourself into this process and become a new you ... but if you really want a new you ... you will accept it.