# Boringness pushed me to live in lies
## Part I: The Roots of Boredom
- **Childhood Isolation**
- Long periods of solitude during childhood
- Feeling disconnected and bored with life
- Searching for meaning or excitement without clarity
- **The Search for Meaning**
- Experimenting with various activities to escape boredom
- Lack of direction leading to impulsive decisions
- The emergence of a self-awareness about one's actions
- **The Art of Doing Stupid Things**
- Defining youthful rebellion as "the art of doing stupid things"
- Conscious engagement in risky or nonsensical behavior
- Choosing a chaotic life over monotony
## Part II: The Consequences of Choices
- **The Duality of Existence**
- Struggling between boring normalcy and chaotic excitement
- Preferring to feel alive, even if it meant living recklessly
- Awareness of the consequences but choosing to ignore them
- **Middle Age Reflections**
- Realizing the impact of past choices on present life
- Acknowledging mistakes made during the "nonsense era"
- Acceptance of regrets and their role in shaping identity
## Part III: Embracing Life’s Journey
- **Living in Lies**
- Admitting that boredom drove decisions based on falsehoods
- Finding peace with the imperfections of life
- Smiling at the absurdity of it all
- **Normality and Duality**
- Treating chaos and mistakes as part of everyday life
- Recognizing the persistence of dualistic thinking
- Understanding duality as an ongoing phase of personal growth
- **The Essence of Life**
- Accepting that life is a journey filled with contradictions
- Viewing mistakes and chaos as integral to the human experience
- Finding contentment in the unpredictability of existence