Tags:education
Why Does He Do That?
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse• The nature of abusive thinking• Myths about abusers• Ten abusive personality types• The role of drugs and alcohol• What you can fix, and what you can’t• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
In many of the occasions in life, we see everything in a simple dogmatic way.We are used with different kinds of results and believe that these represents the only case scenarios that can happen.We want something else, but don’t really believe that life can bring us the ... goodies.We predict the future, according to the past.But you know, same story, with the same elements can also have a different result than we are used to expect.We can influence reality ... just by expecting something totally different that we used to have.For example ... there are cases when the Universe is sending us the same lesson on and on and on ... till the day when we understand that we need to do things differently to get a different result ... andimprove everything happens.Sometimes we are good theoreticians, sometimes we can’t even see clearly reality and understand the meaning of the events ... especially the negative ones.But having optimistic standards can help us break any problem ... and in the end influence the energetic field of any situation, event .. oreven the energetic field of other people.And when i use the term ... energetic field ... i mean the environment itself, with all its attributes that defines everything in a certain way.I can give a simple example.I was in a morning in my garden, reading a book.I was on a chair, in a specific place from my garden ... and i use to use that place by almost 10 years.From that point, i see the beauty of my garden in a specific way, but because it was a very hot day, and the sun came in that point, i hadto move the chair in a different place from the garden, not to stay anymore in the sun.I was amazed.I almost saw a different garden from that position.I loved it ... but everything was a totally different perspective.This was a simple case scenario ... seeing even something beautiful, from a different angle and almost believe is something else.But in theory, and even in practice, we can have even negative perspectives totally metamorphosized into positive one.We can change the script of any scenario, by re-evaluate everything ... just by expecting of getting a positive result ... the one we desire.This is how, only by having an opened mind, ignoring the statistical datas from your past, the one that defines the probability of having acertain scenario ... we can actually influence, but also change the reality itself.And what we define as miracle ... is in fact just changing the believe into the fact that ... life can be also the way we dare to dream.Truth be told, the reality can be created or even re-created in any way we want it to happen.All we need to do is to connect to that energetic field, which actually means ... be one with the present moment ... and expect aseverything should happen in a specific way that you want.Even the miracle itself is just a different result ... the one that we had in mind and wanted.So ... realities can be defined, redefined, but also written in any specific way.A hollywoodian movie ... has amazing scenes and all the scenes are a telling the details of the story ... so that it will have a powerfulmessage, but also powerful impact on you.You connect with the reality of those scenes, but most probably the same scene was filmed by 5th - 7th ... even 15th times, till theyconsidered they had the perfect one.The same way, certain events could be redefined by us, just by meditating, finding the best solution for that event ... and thenimplemented in the real life.And try ... and try again ... till the moment it just happens.And the life can look like a hollywoodian movie also ... by using the power of re-evaluation, re-defining and keeping an opened mind,expecting all the time positive scenarios for our lives.We are the creators of our reality ... by conscious or unconscious thoughts ... but in the end we should keep in our mind that whatlooks like a negative script, might be just a life lesson ... not finding yet the right path in life ... but every scenario can be re written in theway we want it to happen.The key?! I mean the key of getting out of the labyrinth ... is connecting to that reality ... that energetic field ... and have greatexpectations from it.So ... even if you don’t know it yet ... there is an art of influencing reality and you can learn it.
BEYOND THE NONSENSE … THERE IS A PATH
And one day .... you see no difference between your world and the life in North Korea ... but you don’t know whyWhen i began to study the nonsense ... i realized that ... behind the nonsense there is a path that we can’t see.When i say nonsense ... i mean all our silly actions ... or thoughts.We live in a robotic way ... and even if we are not happy in the present moment ... we just continue everything in the same way ... on and on and on.One day, we even start to believe that we live in a prison ... or prisons.The job is a prison.The marriage is a prison.Everything around ... is just a repetitive way of living ... having no sense at all.There is no joy of being alive.You actually have a life similar with the one of the people from North Korea ... but the problem is that you are the dictator ... and you was the one that somehow chose the prison ... or even built it.No one forced you to go at the job you have now and actually you can change it anytime.No one forced you to get married and in fact you can change the partner ... or just ... simple divorce.You see no difference between your world and the life in North Korea ... but you don’t know why.Well ... let me tell you the truth.You accepted the nonsense as your main way of living your life.You are the one that is responsible for your unhappiness ... and in fact ... you are also the one that could change everything right away.The nonsense is a pathless path ... that actually goes to your soul.Accepting its presence ... defining it ... you realize that beyond it ... there is indeed a path.The present moment.Enjoy it!The prison ... even if it is only metaphoric ... or a real one ... is the best place you could be ... but you need to understand that the only secret is that we should enjoy life and feel alive.
Tools of Titans
#1 New York Times BestsellerThe latest groundbreaking tome from Tim Ferriss, the best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek.From the author: “For the last two years, I’ve interviewed nearly two hundred world-class performers for my podcast,The Tim Ferriss Show. The guests range from super celebs (Jamie Foxx, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.) and athletes (icons of powerlifting, gymnastics, surfing, etc.) to legendary Special Operations commanders and black-market biochemists. For most of my guests, it’s the first time they’ve agreed to a two-to-three-hour interview, and the show is on the cusp of passing 100 million downloads.“This book contains the distilled tools, tactics, and ‘inside baseball’ you won’t find anywhere else. It also includes new tips from past guests, and life lessons from new ‘guests’ you haven’t met.“What makes the show different is a relentless focus on actionable details. This is reflected in the questions. For example: What do these people do in the first sixty minutes of each morning? What do their workout routines look like, and why? What books have they gifted most to other people? What are the biggest wastes of time for novices in their field? What supplements do they take on a daily basis?“I don’t view myself as an interviewer. I view myself as an experimenter. If I can’t test something and replicate results in the messy reality of everyday life, I’m not interested.“Everything within these pages has been vetted, explored, and applied to my own life in some fashion. I’ve used dozens of the tactics and philosophies in high-stakes negotiations, high-risk environments, or large business dealings. The lessons have made me millions of dollars and saved me years of wasted effort and frustration.“I created this book, my ultimate notebook of high-leverage tools, for myself. It’s changed my life, and I hope the same for you.”
Collaborative School Leadership
This book takes the idea of distributing leadership in schools to a new level of understanding and practice. The authors address the complexities of leadership by putting forward two essential propositions. The first is the need to understand leadership as the outcome both of people’s intentions and the complex flow of interactions in the daily life of schools. The second is the need to integrate values of social justice and democracy into our understanding of leadership. Building on this insight, the authors show how leadership can be truly collaborative. The book also combines practice, theory and research and draws on the authors’ international experience. This book is an invaluable resource for reflection and change for everyone who contributes to and studies leadership – senior leaders, teachers, support staff, students and researchers.
Spiritualising Life
Spiritualising Life has three volume, which contain the talks given by Mananeeya Eknathji Ranade on the workers who were undergoing training. These lectures are delivered to mould the life workers of Vivekananda Kendra, to become fit enough to fulfill the mission of the organisation. These talks deal with the essential qualities of an ideal worker and these in fact are coming from a person who is an embodiment of selfless service; makes it even more worthy to listen and emulate.
Beyond the boundaries ... of the human being
"I have nothing to say ... and i am saying it"I am ... writing.Yes ... i keep writing.I keep .... expressing myself ... even if many of the things i write .. are actually a clear evidence of the ... nonsense ... which is dominating my whole existence.Yes ... i keep writing ... doing it as a self therapy ... which i need a lot.It's sort of a ... treatment.I do it everyday.Day ... by day.And days are passing ... then weeks ... then months ... but nothing improves.No ...Life still continues ... as a story about the nonsense into its absolute form.So ... i keep expressing myself ... having nothing to say ... but illusory expecting to receive important messages ... from my inner soul.Maybe ... all is an abstract tendency of going beyond the boundaries ... of my being.And ... i desperately try it.Expressing ...Expressing ...Expressing ...But ... not saying anything.Most probably ... i am still disconnected of the inner self.And ... no matter as much as i try ... nothing changes.I guess it's normal.I am an ordinary human being ... same as the others ... dominated by the nonsense ... without any real control on myself ... and ...Well ... life continues anyway.I also continue to write.I continue to express ... that "nothing" from inside of myself.Looking ... like uselessBut ... i am just doing my therapy sessions.On ... and on and on ...
MY LIFE IN A PRISON WITH INVISIBLE WALLS
If you ask a school boy about the ideal life ... that is one without homework and very long vacations.The summer vacation is the ideal time for them ... but still one day the autumn is coming.If you ask an employe in a corporation about the ideal life ... he will say that he would love as the working week to have 2 days of work a day instead of 5.The school boy, no matter the age ... is not feeling free.Years ago ... when he was not in school ... he felt the freedom of doing only what he wanted to do.The employee from the corporation, even if he knows that he is paid very, very well ... he is not feeling free either.But why?!Well ... cause the society is teaching us ... somehow by force ... to live in ... “prisons”.Now let me give you another example.Let’s assume the case of a businessman, that already had success, has a beautiful house, has money, a good company, a wife, beautiful kids .... basically everything.And ... still ... if you ask him if he is happy ... he will only reply that a piece from the puzzle is missing.I know lots of businessmen that have a great success ... and even if they have everything ... almost all of them have a mistress that is completing their lives.It’s a non sense ... i know ... cause most of them have the perfect life scenario.An amazing house.A amazing car ... or cars.A beautiful wife.Very nice children.... and?!Why this nonsense?!Why does a person look for something else when already has the perfect life?!Well ... cause what we call ... perfection ... is only a dogmatic way of seeing life.The missing piece from the puzzle is the mistress ... that makes him feel loved in a totally different way.She makes him be ... a free person.A hobby would make the school boy and even the employee from the corporation ... to love what is doing ... and also feel free ... enjoying the present activity.You see ... no matter what path we chose in life ... the moment when we forget about the dogmatic path of living ... we feel the freedom.We feel alive.Our actions ... will look like a total nonsense to the others ... but we will be happy.The human being is looking for perfection ... but the happiness is not found in there.The dogmatism will never help us to ... be us.But ... on the path of discovering ... the real path ... at least we will have the guts to ... dream ... about the real freedom.
EXPLORING OURSELVES
There are many times in life when we have lots of existential questions inside of our minds.Accepting those thoughts ... and actually embracing them is the path for understanding but also having a normal ... and why not ... also a beautiful life.I personally try to understand those existential questions from the early age of 4 or 5.One of the things that i remember from that time was that i was in the kitchen with my mother and she was explaining me that we live in a world with bad people and i should be aware of that.Maybe if she was telling me that Santa Claus was not real, i would have accepted that much easier.But i totally disliked what she told me and it was the first time when i disconnected myself from her.I told to myself ... “This is not true. I will explore the world and i will prove that this is not true. Noooo ... we don’t live in a world with bad people!”.It was the start of my journey on a philosophical path, that for many, many times looked like a pathless path to me, but also to the ones were looking at me.As a child i was an introvert, but today ... after socializing so, so much with so many people that i met ... i became an extrovert.And ... i accept on the stage of my life absolutely any kind of person ... i met.Even if i don’t like that person ... or i don’t feel comfortable in the presence of that spirit ... i continue my journey of exploring the human beings and i kind of like it.I try to ... read ... people ... to see each one of them as a book, cause all of them ... have their own stories... and i also try to somehow ... invent .. a guide of surviving in this world.I felt many times, probably same as you, that my mother’s theory about the world is true ... and i was too idealistic for this Universe ... but i still had the hope that things will always change into better.I was exploring life ... and while doing this i discovered that even in bad things, i will always find a beautiful side.So ... there is an ugly and a beautiful side, but depends which one we are seeing ... and the world itself can be defined as ugly or beautiful ... only and only by what we actually understand from what we see.And ... to learn the art of observing the world ... first we need to explore life ... with all its aspects and then ... meditate and ask ourselves before defining anything if it’s worth losing our time with the ugly elements ... when still life has so, so many beautiful sides.
BEHIND THE ABSTRACT
Someone once said to me ... “I don’t want to be abstract ... I want it to be real”.It was the reply at the fact that i’ve said to her that a friend of mine, that was in fact married, was loving her in an abstract way.But we all do the same ... we refuse to understand the meaning of the abstract in our lives ... or to see what is the message behind the message.And then we live the same experiences on and on and on ... and we keep wondering why ... why ... why??!!I believe today that refusing to start learning the art of understanding the abstract ... is a way of refusing to continue growing as a spiritual being.Somehow the Universe, even if we dislike it, gives us the same lesson on and on and on ... but we just can’t see that the Universe loves us ... all of us ... and tries all the time to save and help us ... to understand what we call lessons of life.The abstract is strange sometimes ... i know ... but seeing what is behind the abstract, you understand the meaning of life.So ... how should we start?!Where we should pay more attention in the events from our lives?!Well ... somehow is quite simple.Everything has a huge impact on us ... annoys us in a terrible way ... or has a repetitive character ... in there you will find the meaning of the lessons you need to study.In the end ... we can even use the slogan ... “It’s not what it looks like” ... cause probably this is the real definition of the abstract.But can we ignore the signs?! ... the lessons?!You might have moments when you could believe that ... but then the power of the message will have a stronger intensity.And will be repeat on and on and on ... and the abstract values will annoy you in a terrible way.The solution?!Maybe ... just have an opened mind and pay attention to the details.So ... we should spend life only meditating?!Sure not ... but we should keep the right balance between living and enjoying life ... and also thinking about it ... its messages and how we could grow as spiritual beings.And probably keep in mind that ... behind the abstract there is a always message.
LIE ... AS LIFE
Between a lie and the real truth ... we'll always prefer the lie.The human being is ... illogical.It always was .... and will always be.Allowing ... the nonsense to dominate all the time.Somehow ... is a paradox.But in the real life ... we paint so, so nicely the lies ... into an abstract way .... that we might even believe all is ... good.I've believed the same.... many, many times.Obviously ... ignoring or rejecting the real truth.And ... i try to understand myself.See ... the logic of my behaviour.Unfortunately ... all is a total nonsense.I just prefer ... the lies.Especially ... the ones said into a beautiful way.Between a lie ... and the real truth ... I'll always accept to live ... in illusion.But ... you know why?!Well ... most certainly ... the truth hurts too much.Yes ... life is not perfect.My life .... either.So ... i'll just continue living in illusion ... till all will be so obvious ... that i can't deny the truth.Most certainly .... it will be late.... much too late.I've became aware that my time is limited ... and one day ... my life will end ... and i'll prove that I've wasted all my existence ... but ....Maybe ... i am just a coward.... like many, many others.Probably ... same as you.Living ... in lies is a way of living.The way ... in how we waste our existences.... by thousands of years.Yes ... we don't care about truth.... about awakening.About learning ... the lessons beyond ... the nonsense.But ... this is the way we are.And we should just accept it.Maybe .... define what is going on.Also ... why?!Analyse deeply so that into the end we should just redefine our attitude in front of ... the lies.
Sad ... or unhappy?!
Beautiful soul.Sad face.Unhappy human.I look at them.But all look unhappy to me.And i start to wonder what is going on.Also ... what is really the difference between sadness and unhappiness.Unfortunately ... i can't clearly understand.Not yet.I believe i know it ... but it is not true.My mind is full with illusory thoughts.Then i see her.I look at her amazing charm.And i penetrate ... her beautiful soul.... wondering as an idiot why such a sad face ... and unhappy human being.Cause ... all is illogical.Unfortunately ... this is life.For ugly souls... but also for beautiful ones.